Cross-posted from Yuki’s Box Of Chocolates:

I do apologize for not writing much these days, as I have quite a number of things on my mind. However, something propped up last week in my-email that I feel needs to be addressed. Slightly reversing the decision by the Information, Communications and Culture Ministry last year that bans depictions of rempits and trans people (I still do not get the connection between violent motorcyclists and decent human beings with a medical condition), local filmmakers can now depict homosexuality and trans people IF the film ends with sad or tragic consequences to homosexual persons or trans people.

I am very thrilled that my acts of going to work, singing Karaoke with my friends, sleeping, watching movies and enjoying music are considered “immoral activities” by some quarters that I need to repent from. I am also sure that some of my friends would be excited that their loving relationships with their partners is considered nothing but a “culture” that may damage moral values of other people, and people need protection from some insane influence to turn heterosexuals to homosexuals (as if it is ever possible).

Not.

I absolutely do not get any relevance from movies that are based on nothing by idle speculation and lazy guessing into the life of a trans woman, like “…(Anu) dalam botol” for example. I would not even say poorly researched; it is pure fictional fantasy (I can imagine no research was done for “2Alam” either). I do not magically wish to “transform” into a woman to please anyone. If my partner is homosexual, he would find that gross because he wants a man, not a woman. I would not even regret getting the operation done if I have the chance, and if I do stumble upon a loving girl, then we would have a decent lesbian relationship, a kind of partnership that is recognized as the most low risk group for HIV/AIDS infection. By the way I do not even like sex. And I am not a “transvestite”.

So, this is plain misinformation, miscommunication and a counter-culture move to allow demonization of people like me. I have totally no regrets being who I am and am proud to be finally be living, not as who Raja Azmi Raja Sulaiman’s thinks I am or I should be. I shall die in pride that though my life is difficult thanks to ignorant and deceitful people like these so-called filmmakers, at least I live as the woman I truly am. These hate-mongering, rumour spreading and lie parroting heterosexists like “Dr” Rozmey may be getting the hype they want. But if any in the trans community of Malaysia commits suicide or are murdered due to the climate of prejudice, misunderstanding, intolerance and discrimination these “filmmakers” create, my sisters’ blood is surely on their hands.

As a muslim, I practice my faith out of love and conviction with the steadfast affirmation that my God is a loving one. I can’t imagine that God created LGBT (Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender) individuals just so we can be made to suffer a life of celibacy/ denial or apostasy. Telling me or my community that this is God’s test of our faith just doesn’t cut it either. Sweeping the issue under the rug or comparing homosexuality with criminal acts serves no purpose other than perpetuate and exhibit ignorance. Rape, pedophilia, bestiality or elitist genocidal dictatorship (ala Hilter) are acts that involve perpetrators and victims. Contrary to popular belief, homosexuality typically involves consenting adults (aka opposite of criminal + victim) and most of us have no desire to morally corrupting you or your family (maybe just that bigoted, closeted homophobe next door).

If anything, we are often the victims of hate crime as well as of judicial and spiritual neglect. For example, as per my article on Transsexualism in Malaysia, transgendered Malaysians with the exception of hermaphrodites have no judicial rights to official change their gender even post-surgery. Another example is that the five countries that punish homosexuality by death are officially Islamic: Saudi Arabia, Iran, Mauritania, Sudan and Yemen. Judicial neglect isn’t limited to Islamic countries, gay marriages are not recognized federally in the US. Texas even has state laws punishing sodomy. And don’t even get me started on the hate crimes!

In an example of spiritual neglect, most Islamic schools(Hanafi, Maliki, Ja’afari, Shafi’i) considers people engaging in same-sex intercourse are adulterers if they are married and fornicators if they are not. For the latter, we won’t be fornicators if the religious or judicial laws allow us to get married to our partners now, would we? For the former, if society and religious believers are more open to homosexuals, perhaps one need not resort having fake heterosexual lives. This issue holds true for many religions not just Islam.

I believe it is important to elevate awareness of and for LGBT religious believers. Religion needs to evolve with its believers. For illustration purposes, I did some quick rudimentary math (because I am geeky that way):
Let’s assume that currently Moslems are about 22% of the world population. Now, let’s assume that 5% of the world population do indeed identify themselves as a part of the LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgendered) community . Accordingly, there are potentially 73 million LGBT Moslems around the world based on 1.1% of 6.7 billion world population. The numbers are highly theoretical but the point is that there is potentially a large number LGBT Moslems. Arguing that all 73 million LGBT Moslems should be stoned to death, locked up till death, become atheists or celibate is not a scalable solution, very economical or convivial to a sizable chunk of the world population. Again, this problem holds true for any other religious believers not just Islam.

I propose we re-evaluate religious points of views we were brought up with. An example of reassessment is in the contextual lessons one can draw from Lot passages (source: Quran 7:80-82, 11: 70-85, 15: 66–74, 26:165-175, 27:55-58, 29:28-29). Along with rudely trying to bugger Lot’s angelic guests without of their consent (i.e. rape) and the will of their host, Lot’s people were guilty of many other things such as committing financial & political injustice (pg 993-995), infidelity, and moral transgression in the form of rampant intercourse, greed and unchecked lust according to Abdullah Yusuf Ali’s interpretation of the Quran (pg 366-367, 630-631, 927). Isn’t the better lesson to learn is to practice monogamous relationships and conduct responsible reasonable respectful actions as opposed to wholesale condemnation of homosexuality?

Sects of Christianity such as Anglican church, Episcopalian churches and Buddhism are some examples of religious bodies that already moved towards integrating the LGBT believers into their community. When is our turn?

Bonus reads:

• Malaysian Pastor To Open First Gay Friendly Church
• Al-fatiha
• Queer Muslim Revolution blog

I spent last weekend with some friends in San Francisco. We took three energetic dogs to two different parks, watched cute girls pass us by as we ate lunch at Tartine’s – fabulous bakery on Guerrero and 18th. I had just met one of the girls in our group that day. She and my other friends apparently haven’t seen each other in a while.

In one of our conversations as we were playing chase with the dogs, she mentioned nonchalantly that she believes that all religions are a hoax and that she no longer believes in god. She punctuated her statement by adding she had bacon for breakfast the morning before.

To give you more of a context, the new friend is an ex-Muslim. I stopped petting my friend’s fluffy Chow as I contemplated the news she just broke.

She had asked me if I was a practicing Muslim. I had a hard time answering her.
Though I never missed fasting and paying Zakat (the Moslem tithe), avoid pork, drinking alcohol, smoking and drug, I pray sporadically as opposed to five times a day, own a dog with my girlfriend and am open about my homosexuality. Does being dog-loving lesbian makes me any less of a Moslem?

I try to be a conscientious employee, a devoted and loyal girlfriend, a filial daughter (That’s Confucian, isn’t it?) and caring friend. I contribute to society by volunteering and donating every month, educate myself and educate others in what I know best, organize and take part in participatory sports, pay taxes, recycle and abide by the communal and governmental laws. I am sure my apostate friend is as equally devoted at being an exemplary citizen of her community.

When I was coming out as a lesbian almost a decade ago, the conflict between my lifestyle choice and my religion had seemed irreconcilable. Can I be who I am and still keep my religion?

Anecdotally speaking, many gay folks I know still can’t resolve the inherently difficult issue. Many choose to go opposite extremes. On one extreme, I have witnessed individuals who choose to devote themselves to religion. They pledge their lives, love and soul to Jesus or Allah – Chrisbians, Mosbians as my friends would call them – denying themselves of the love of their lives with same sex partners. At the other end of the spectrum, I have seen a complete discard of religion to substantiate to their lifestyle.

Being dismissive or regarding any deviant lifestyle as intolerable is just to simplistic. I like to think I took the middle ground. I am able to balance both my homosexuality and religion by bearing in mind the fundamental principles of religion and leading a life focusing on these components to shape myself to my own definition of a well-balanced individual. Ultimately, the thing that matters the most is that I am at peace with who I am and with my relationship with God and my girlfriend. As religion is and should remain a personal conviction, I hope that all the chrisbians, mosbians, apostates as well as gay and non-gay Moslems can co-exist happily.

As a result, the answer I finally settled on was that I was indeed a practicing Moslem. I believe that religion is a personal conviction. In my opinion, the fundamental concept of any religion is to serve as a guideline for practitioners on personal, social and spiritual conduct. Many would disagree I am sure, but I don’t consider my lifestyle a deviation of my religion. Rather than looking at religion to define who I am, I use religion supplementary to how I live my life.