“Wat you mean gay Malaysians? Of course la, Malaysia got a lot of gay people. Why not meh, weather is great, no big natural disasters, economy also can. Everybody happy lor!?

Alas, though the thought of a large gay population in Malaysia is pleasant, there probably aren’t that many gay Malaysians in Malaysia. If one were to follow the Kinsey rule of thumb, there are about 2 million gay individuals in Malaysia – about 10 percent of the Malaysian population.

“Wah liao! How come only 10%? Sure got more than one out of ten Malaysian wan!,” my alter ego exclaimed.

Most likely, the number of gay Malaysians is even lower than 10%. The 1948 Kinsey study is considered by many people to vastly overestimate the actual gay population. Based on recent statistics, the number is closer to 1% of the population.

“Wahhhh, so shocking. Why so few happy people?”

There are not very many “out” Malaysians.

“Eh, wat you mean by out gay people? Happy people got “in” and “out”, ah?”

The term “coming out” or “being out” is widely used in the U.S. to describe people who are open about their gay orientation. We can be “out” to ourselves, to our family, friends, co-workers or society. Personally for me, being out to oneself is the most important step to take before being out to one’s own community.

“Ha? Happy people got their own community?”

Official gay organizations are particularly non-existent in Malaysia. However, there are closely-related organizations such as HIV/Aids NGOs (Pink Triangle to name one) that provide some support to the community. There are hang-out spots, a few bars and clubs spread out through Malaysia, but for the most part, the gay community in Malaysia is underground. Meeting places and gatherings are spread through word of mouth. However, with the advent of the wide-spread Internet usage, more venues are opening up for the community. Sites such as PLU (People Like Us) provide helpful resources.

“People like us? Who is us?”

The word gay is meant to be all-inclusive – women, men and variations within.

“Ha? What you mean variations within?”

Transgendered folks are no strangers to the Malaysians. Words such as “Pondan” and “Penkit” are part of the local vocabulary. “Pondan” is used for male cross-dressers. “Penkit”, derived from the term “Punk Kid”, is used to describe women living their lives as men.

“Oh! Right, right, got the “Pondan” comedians on TV. They make people very happy, right? “Pondan” comedians are funny! ”, piped my alter ego.

“Have you ever thought of why gay people are gay?” I asked my alter ego. Not a moment later, she waves her hand excitedly and blurbs out, “Oh, oh I know why! Scientists say that when you are happy, got endorphins run through your neuro system. These endorphins help decrease stress-related hormones. But of course, cannot explain everything using science. If everything around you okay, your stomach full, your friends all good, your work/classes going okay, then you also happy la.”

Alter ego, you never cease to amaze with your cesspool of knowledge. As simple as your definition lays it out, however, many people still have the wrong notions about gay people. The most common misconception is that gayness is either un-natural, or a form of disease.

“You know, if you are happy, then you are happy la. Why think it unnatural mah?”

Imagine a scenario where Person A has never eaten sushi before. Person A has always been raised to think that raw food is unhealthy and tastes foul. When Person A sees Person B eats sushi with enjoyment, Person A feels disgust at Person B’s actions because Person A cannot get past his/her preconceived notions of sushi. Similar is the case for people who are unfamiliar with gay people or have negative perception of gays.

“So, you are saying that people who are not happy think happy people are diseased because they never felt happy before, so they can not understand how happy people feel? But aa, I tell you, not everyone like sushi, you know, even if they have tried it or heard good things about it, wan.”

True, therefore one should learn to respect other people’s preferences. Just because you don’t like gay people, doesn’t mean you have to think that I am disgusting for being gay. Likewise, just because I am gay, doesn’t mean I can force you to accept me for who I am. The ideal situation is to find a balance where both parties can reach a compromise and live with each other’s preferences. After all, if you expect the other party to understand you, you need to be able to understand the other party as well. That said. I am not sure how ready Malaysians are to accept good sushi or gay people.

“Aiyah no problem la. Malaysia boleh wat!”

I put my arms around my alter ego and said, “I know this great sushi restaurant down in El Camino in downtown San Jose. There is this cute waitress there and she is gay!”

“Wah! Goodla, I like restaurants with happy servers! Jom!”