McDonalds has launched a new “Come as you are” campaign in France. This ad features a closeted, loving young man grabbing a burger with his father. It’s a good step forward for the fast food chain — the dialogue will resonate with those who have kept false pretences around their parents (or are still doing so).

It’d be great to see a “Come as you are” campaign where someone was actually queer, and out and proud about it, in the restaurant. For now, i’ll take what I can get.

Cross-posted from Yuki’s Box Of Chocolates:

I do apologize for not writing much these days, as I have quite a number of things on my mind. However, something propped up last week in my-email that I feel needs to be addressed. Slightly reversing the decision by the Information, Communications and Culture Ministry last year that bans depictions of rempits and trans people (I still do not get the connection between violent motorcyclists and decent human beings with a medical condition), local filmmakers can now depict homosexuality and trans people IF the film ends with sad or tragic consequences to homosexual persons or trans people.

I am very thrilled that my acts of going to work, singing Karaoke with my friends, sleeping, watching movies and enjoying music are considered “immoral activities” by some quarters that I need to repent from. I am also sure that some of my friends would be excited that their loving relationships with their partners is considered nothing but a “culture” that may damage moral values of other people, and people need protection from some insane influence to turn heterosexuals to homosexuals (as if it is ever possible).

Not.

I absolutely do not get any relevance from movies that are based on nothing by idle speculation and lazy guessing into the life of a trans woman, like “…(Anu) dalam botol” for example. I would not even say poorly researched; it is pure fictional fantasy (I can imagine no research was done for “2Alam” either). I do not magically wish to “transform” into a woman to please anyone. If my partner is homosexual, he would find that gross because he wants a man, not a woman. I would not even regret getting the operation done if I have the chance, and if I do stumble upon a loving girl, then we would have a decent lesbian relationship, a kind of partnership that is recognized as the most low risk group for HIV/AIDS infection. By the way I do not even like sex. And I am not a “transvestite”.

So, this is plain misinformation, miscommunication and a counter-culture move to allow demonization of people like me. I have totally no regrets being who I am and am proud to be finally be living, not as who Raja Azmi Raja Sulaiman’s thinks I am or I should be. I shall die in pride that though my life is difficult thanks to ignorant and deceitful people like these so-called filmmakers, at least I live as the woman I truly am. These hate-mongering, rumour spreading and lie parroting heterosexists like “Dr” Rozmey may be getting the hype they want. But if any in the trans community of Malaysia commits suicide or are murdered due to the climate of prejudice, misunderstanding, intolerance and discrimination these “filmmakers” create, my sisters’ blood is surely on their hands.

On the 1st of August 2009, I was amongst thousands of supporters at the National Day of Action for Same Sex Marriage rally in Fed Square, Melbourne.

This day of action is part of a nationwide campaign, Equal Love, which is in its fifth year of pressuring the government into legalising same sex marriages. In 2008, the federal government amended over 100 laws to allow same sex couples (domestic partners) the same financial and work-related entitlements as heterosexual couples.

Marriage, however, is still illegal for same sex couples. Many participants of the rally were dressed in wedding outfits, and later on, a total of 65 couples were (illegally) married, exchanging vows on the steps of the city’s registry office.

Besides wedding outfits, rainbow colours were of course also a popular feature:

And political t-shirts, button badges, face paint, and eye-grabbing outfits:

(how gorgeous is that guy on the right, seriously)

The rally started with a gathering and some speeches at Fed Square, before taking to the streets. If you’re so inclined, here’s a video of the walk (“hey hey, ho ho, homophobia’s got to go!”)

Here are some photos from the walk:

For the rest of my pictures, take a look around this Flickr set: Equal Love.

Also, watch some videos from the same campaign, of “Mr Government” trying unsuccessfully to schmoooze “Ms Equality”

It was a very positive experience for me, to be around all these people. The parade had thousands of participants, many people in love, with their partners — all they want is to be able to marry each other. Straight people fighting for equal rights. Queer people fighting for their rights. In the end, it’s all just an effort to get love and equality recognised: why should anyone be allowed to police relationships between consenting adults?

As for police at the rally — sure there were police around…they were making sure everyone was safe, and that traffic was still going smoothly, letting the parade through first.

Of course, I came home that day to news that my friends were being tear-gassed, water cannoned, and abused by our FRU and police force in Malaysia, for taking a stand against the ISA. What can I say? The difference was stark.

I love Malaysia, but it breaks my heart when I read about the horrible things our government is capable of.

As for those in KL, Seksualiti Merdeka is now into its second year, and happening soon: 12th-16th August, at The Annexe, Central Market. I hope you attend, and find the event as edifying and rejuvenating as I found this rally.

Flickr: Equal Love (by Tilted World)

The Age: Big crowds turn out in support of gay marriage

Official website: Equal love

Two Vimeo videos, just because:

Lesbian Labels from Charmaine Chan on Vimeo.

Short documentary taking a look at lesbian stereotypes and labels. Personally, I’ve not heard quite a lot of the labels here.

While one of them says “You know how society likes to define us”, I’m wondering if society even knows the difference between a pixie dyke and an academic dyke.

GAY = SIN from Matthew Brown on Vimeo.

Video by Matthew Brown
Music by Sigur Ros

Hate speech, juxtaposed against images of nature and men (note for the prudes: there will be some bums visible).

And to top it off, here’s a clip of one of my favourite childhood tv shows, The Golden Girls:

Lesbian, not Lebanese.. from Rob on Vimeo.

When Blanche finds out Rose’s friend is gay and has feelings for her. – Golden Girls Season 2

These are confidential records of the lives of Yuki Choe and her friends, and is the most striking evidence of what the absolutely dirt crazy gay lifestyle is all about. Names of the people involved in this revelation are kept confidential as the blogger risks being sued!

Yuki woke up very tired from a long night’s sleep. It was a Monday, and she has to get to work. Therefore, she went for a lustful teeth brushing and a sexy bath routine, which is part of her gay lifestyle since she was a child. She quickly chose her full clothes to wear to her office, fearing she will be late. (But what the heck, being fashionably late is the foolish lifestyle of a lot of Malaysians). She later got into her car, and has to face another part of the stupid Malaysian lifestyle, people driving like oxi-morons across the highway all around her.

On the way to the office, she thought back about last night. She remembered herself screaming, “More! One more!” Oh, that sensation! Those eleven men were all incredible, all of them handsome hunks. They kept on shooting it in she just could not resist as she held her own body tight. Those men were down with another half more to go. She will cherish that night because it does not come often. Manchester United were nil-two down, and ended up beating Tottenham five-two. That was real sexy football for her. Man Utd! She loves the Barclay’s Premier League lifestyle!

She pumped it hard at work the whole day, because the challenging lifestyle of all salespeople is always cold calling, appointments and trying to close the deal. She drank a lot of tea that day, and have to indulge herself in the dirty washroom lifestyle. She also ate at the mamak, a mostly fattening lifestyle of a lot of Malaysians. After a long tongue-licking day at work, before she left the office her straight friend R called. “Where are you?”. “At the office-lar”, she replied (Note: using “lar” at end of sentences is a Chinese Malaysian oriented lifestyle). “Come over (a pub) for a drink”, he invited. She playfully said yes with much delight.

Now drinking beer is the lifestyle of many that are staying in Damansara Uptown. Being a playground for a lot of well off people, she never turns down a chance to drink when people spend her alcohol. Besides alcohol consumption, hugging GRO girls is the proud lifestyle of many married straight men there. One of them came up to her and asked, “How is your lifestyle?” She decided she would leave her lazy lifestyle of sitting on pub chairs. She then stood up and tried to perform her bloody unhealthy lifestyle of dancing while moving away, because he was harassing her. As that guy went away, R asked “Are you gay?” She said “How can I be gay when I do not even like sex?”

After a few drinks, she went home. She climbed up to her room and turned on her lamp-light. She decided enough was enough, and she wanted to do something crazy that night. So after a quick shower, all wet, she quickly rubbed the sweet lotion all over her body. There she was, naked, ready to indulge in her despicable lifestyle. “Hey, everybody does it”, she thought. So she jumped into bed and quickly slept, the most relaxing lifestyle of all human beings in the world. Worst of all, with much utter disgust, it was only 10pm!

Yes, the gay lifestyle is so horrible and menacing!

Cross-posted from Yuki’s Box Of Chocolates.

Reposted from Tufts Observer.

By Seth Stein

When does a man become straight or gay? Is it a choice or is it predetermined? If it is a choice, as certain groups claim, then the issue is further complicated: why would a person willingly join an oppressed minority? Perhaps the discussion should start on a more personal, albeit admittedly non-scientific, note.

I grew up in downtown Chicago. One of my best friends grew up about four blocks away from me. We come from similar socioeconomic strata; both of our parents are professionals. He has an older sister; I have an older half-brother and half-sister. We attended the same day camp as children and the same high school as adolescents. We both attend prestigious top-tier universities now. Yet he recently came out as a gay man and is very active in the LGBT community at his school, while I’m a heterosexual with a girlfriend. What “makes” him gay and me straight?

Before examining what in his life led him to be gay, it is important to understand what a gay man is. Homosexual behavior, as in same-sex sexual parings, is as old as the human species. The Greeks, the Romans, and Samurai all practiced pederasty; various other kinds of homosexual behavior have been the norm in societies across the globe. But a gay man—a man who has exclusively same-sex relations with romantic attachments—is a modern phenomenon. The Greek who has a boy lover that he trains to be a warrior, but also has his wife to maintain the home, is not a homosexual. A man who self-identifies as gay, has strong attraction for same-sex relations, and chooses not to adhere to the norms of straight society, certainly is a homosexual.

The Gay Community

To understand homosexual behavior, not identity, we can use the animal world as a guide. Homosexual behavior is commonplace among other primates. The most popular theory used to describe this behavior is called the “alliance formation hypothesis.” Simply put, homosexual behavior allows lower-ranking males to cement alliances with higher-ranked males or other lower-ranked males; this allows them access to resources they either would not have had before or would have had limited access too. The main resource, ironically enough, is access to females. Homosexual behavior, just like heterosexual behavior, is used to cement social bonds. In this light, the ancient Greeks and Romans aren’t outliers—they are the norm.

But where did the modern gay community come from? Around the 19th century there were fundamental changes taking place in Western Europe that would transform the face of the world—industrialization, nationalism, and the modern nation-state. It should not be surprising that the first homosexual community—who looked to men exclusively for romantic and sexual relations—emerged in the most advanced state of the time, Great Britain. Freed from traditional family arrangements and social constraints, as well as the ability to lead independent lives with relative autonomy and anonymity, they embraced their sexual desires towards members of the same sex.

The division of the world into gay and straight quickly followed the creation of the first gay communities. Up until the early 18th century, it was not uncommon for married Englishmen to engage in homosexual intercourse on occasion. However, the burgeoning field of biological science quickly ended the fluid sexuality that had been the norm in Western civilization from ancient times. Rapid advances in medicine spurred doctors to classify homosexuality as a deviant behavior and therefore an illness or defect. This was instrumental in further separating those who chose to engage in homosexual behavior and those who did not. People now began to self-identify as either gay or straight.

The tendency for both the homosexual and the heterosexual worlds to practice exclusively same-or opposite-sex relations caused gay men to develop an alternative community to the predominantly heterosexual world. Before the community came out of the closet in the 1960s, it was maintained by secretive bars and meeting places. There were clearly established ways of suggesting to possible partners that a man was gay. This is where the stereotype of the effeminate gay man originates; gay men would commonly act more effeminate to signal to other men that they were gay.

As studies of human sexuality in the United States were almost nonexistent before the 1960’s, little was known about this underground community. Alfred Kinsey, in his famous report on human sexuality, opened the doors to this world and may have laid the basis for the gay civil rights movement. He challenged the common misconception that one is either gay or straight, positing that human sexuality exists on a continuum, and, throughout their lives, people can and will engage in both homosexual and heterosexual behavior. That being said, Kinsey did allow that most men engaged in predominantly opposite-or same-sex relations, not a combination of the two.

This caused a sea of changes in the homosexual world. Kinsey allowed that homosexual behavior was not deviant but in fact perfectly normal. As the community came out of the closet in the 1960’s, fundamental cultural changes took place that allowed gay men to express themselves in new ways. Being gay changed from being a dark secret to being alternative; gay scientists and activists sought to end the discrimination they experienced from mainstream society.

At this point the gay community shifted from an underground, largely self-contained community into a political unit. As black Americans demanded that they not be discriminated against on the basis of their genetic skin color, so gay men demanded that they not be discriminated against on the basis of their sexual orientation. Scientists sought to find the “cause” for homosexuality–if orientation was indeed genetic or biological, then it was senseless to discriminate on that basis. However, more conservative scientists and religious groups sought to prove that homosexuality was a choice and therefore not protected by civil rights legislation. And thus inquiry into the biological basis of homosexuality took on politically charged tones that skewed our understanding of homosexuality for decades.

Nature vs. Nurture

Fortunately, our understanding of homosexuality and human sexuality in general has advanced by leaps and bounds; homosexuality is no longer listed in the DSM-IV as a mental illness. The most extensive twin study on sexual orientation ever undertaken was recently published in Sweden. Comparing twins, the study demonstrated that human homosexuality has a genetic factor, an environmental factor, and a social factor. All of these factors play together to increase or decrease the probability that an individual will be a homosexual. The results of the study suggest that environmental factors account for about 60% of sexual orientation, while genes account for another 40% (refer to the sidebar for an analysis of this study).

The genetic basis of homosexuality is a puzzle to biologists—why would a trait that causes a person not to have offspring be preserved in the human species? This puzzle, however, is misleading; although homosexuals currently leave around 1/5th the offspring of their heterosexual counterparts, historically we have no evidence of how many offspring homosexuals could have produced as they were most likely not exclusively homosexual. The genes that contribute to male homosexuality have been postulated to be located on X chromosome and therefore passed down the mother’s line. In a tip of the hat to the elegance of evolution, one theory suggests these genes seem to make women more fertile while also contributing to male homosexuality. As such, the dearth of offspring produced by gay males is offset by greater numbers of offspring produced by women carrying the gene.

As previously stated, genetic factors are not the only determinant of homosexuality, and modern science shows they may have an even smaller effect than we think. Current theory is exploring unique environmental factors, i.e. the state of the fetus in the mother’s womb. The biggest determinant for homosexuality seems to be birth order; the successive sons after the first of a woman are the most likely to be gay. Why this is the case is still not clear, but it may have something to do with hormone levels in the womb. Testosterone plays a major role in sexual development in fetuses, and it is theorized that the first son, who produces testosterone in the mother’s womb, causes the mother’s body to become sensitized to the molecule. The mother will start producing testosterone antibodies that could change the hormone balance of her successive sons, which may increase the likelihood that he is a homosexual.

Regardless of the cause of homosexuality, there are some biological differences between a gay and straight person’s brain. Recent studies, which are considered controversial by some, show that gay men’s brains more closely resemble the brains of straight women. In other words, gay men have stronger vocalization skills and lower visuospatial intelligence than straight men. These differences are not drastic or universal, but they do shed light on a biological component of male homosexuality.

It is apparent that homosexuality has a biological basis, but few of the factors that contribute to homosexuality seem to predetermine it; in other words many different factors work together to make homosexuality more likely. Social factors are important as well. The process of “coming out” is actually a very ordered and regular socialization process, in which an individual chooses to self-identify as a gay man and pursue their sexual desires toward the same sex. This is part of the polarization of male sexuality—men who come out to be gay identify as strongly with exclusive homosexuality as your average straight man identifies with exclusive heterosexuality.

What is clear is that homosexuality certainly has its biological, social, and cultural elements. A fascinating confluence of these factors is the “gay ghetto.” Being a Chicagoan, this concept is hardly foreign to me. Northalsted, commonly known as “Boy’s Town” is an accepted part of the Chicago landscape, geographically positioned near other primarily young and progressive neighborhoods. In Boy’s Town shops fly the rainbow flag, men at bars expect other men to be gay and gay political organizations are organized from the community. Because of its tight-knit community spirit, Boy’s Town was one of the few urban neighborhoods to grow and gentrify throughout the entirety of the last four decades, even during the height of urban decline and white flight. As urban renewal became the order of the day in the last decade or so, Boy’s Town has been an essential mover in revitalizing Chicago’s north side.

Conclusion

What do all these facts mean when we look at them together? Gay men are actually different from straight men, both biologically and socially. So is that what makes my friend different from me?

The short answer is no. My friend and I are actually the same in every way that matters. He wants to find someone who he can love and who can love him back. He wants to be with someone he is attracted to who can offer new things in his life. He wants to be happy and satisfied. At the same time, his sexual orientation is not important at all in other large areas of his life—what he studies, what he likes to do, and who he chooses as his friends. I do not consider it too high a compliment to describe him as one of my most cherished friends—a role he filled even before he came out of the closet.

But why then is this the kind of person we are allowed to demonize in such horrible ways? Our cultural bias against homosexuals is so strong that the groups opposed to marriage in California didn’t even try to cover their motives. Instead they explicitly said they were anti-gay rights.

Fortunately times are changing much faster than the conservative forces in society can contain them. Americans our age are much more likely than even our parents, who were hippies, to be accepting of gay and lesbian individuals. Even young evangelicals are sick of beating the sodomy drum and would much rather focus on traditional progressive causes like poverty alleviation. I honestly believe that by the time I am my parents’ age my friend will be able to get married legally.

Even though things are changing quickly, that is not a license for inaction. While I enjoy the full range of rights and opportunities any society can provide, my friend does not. He is a second-class citizen. Gay rights is the civil rights issue of our generation. Liberty by gradations is not liberty, it is hierarchy. True liberty is all or nothing, and, until all people in the United States enjoy and practice their full rights, we will not be a free people—just mostly free.

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Hi, how’s everyone doing? I have a video to share with you all, but first, an introduction:

screencap of “I’m F**king Matt Damon”

I don’t know if you people caught a particular episode of Jimmy Kimmel’s talkshow, in conjunction with his 5-year anniversary with girlfriend Sarah Silverman. They screen a duet Silverman performs with Matt Damon, called “I’m F**king Matt Damon“. The title sums it up, really.

So what does Jimmy Kimmel do? Why, get even.

screencap of “I’m F**king Ben Affleck”

With multitude gay references, this is Jimmy Kimmel and Friends with “I’m F*$king Ben Affleck”. Everyone, this is a list of Hollywood stars winking at you (with a clip of Silverman’s “I’m F**king Matt Damon” in the beginning):

Spot the celebrity cameos singing! Stop reading and just watch the video if you like to identify your own celebs!

There’s Brad Pitt as the Fedex guy, Perry Ferrell (of Jane’s Addiction!), the Madden brothers, Josh Groban, Macy Gray, Robin Williams, Cameron Diaz, Joan Jett(!), Harrison Ford, Christina Applegate, Lance Bass, Huey Lewis and of course, Ben Affleck. Identify the rest of them yourself, it’s quite fun.

Also, words cannot describe how surreal it is to have Josh Groban bellow that Jimmy Kimmel is …er, shtupping…Ben Affleck.

“So where’d you meet your current other half that seems permanently and awkwardly attached to the side of your left thigh?”

“We’re not that clingy, but I digress. Try guessing!”

“Huh. What, did your eyes meet across… wossname, a crowded room?”

“Cheesy lah you. No.”

“Nosy matchmaker friends?”

“Naaah. Nope.”

“What then!?”

“Shouldn’t it be obvious by now? The Internet!”

Fridae: one of the most popular gay dating websites in Asia (picture courtesy of WikiCommons)

Oh, yes. In this day and age where technology is completely dominating our lives down to the smallest details and one is rarely seen without a few gadgets on hand (at least the one – the mobile phone!), meeting and dating people over the Internet is in.

I didn’t actually have the aforementioned conversation with any of my friends per se (just dated a few casually, here and there, maybe a few meetings, yanno), but the very fact that I was on several lesbian/gay networking social websites raised more than just a few eyebrows when I told my acquaintances about Fridae, Purplelab.net and the likes.

People certainly have heard of online dating, but given the large number of online marriages that’ve been increasing exponentially as of late, it was usually associated with heterosexual couples without much focus on the LGBT community – for those who didn’t know of the LGBT sites, that is.

With the existence of these LGBT social websites and especially those that cater specifically to certain demographics (Purplelab for womyn, Trevvy for men, etc.), it’s easier to browse profiles of countless others online (even by area, for some websites) to meet potential dates while keeping the undesirable and The-Ones-I-Wouldn’t-Approach-Even-With-A-24-Foot-Pole at bay.

Dating someone over the Internet or even just meeting a girl online isn’t viewed with as much skepticism anymore, nowadays, to be honest. More and more people are actually becoming more open to the idea of meeting people online – in fact, rather than as a last resort, online dating has become somewhat… of a first resort. In other words, people are actually flocking to these sites to socialise and meet people and dates of their choice – and especially their Type, at times.

One of the reasons why the gay/lesbian scene is expanding even more as it is is thanks to the marvel that is the Internet, anyhow. With a click of a mouse, the loading of a webpage, checking out Facebook – events are becoming more and more accessible, and a lot more people in the community are finding out about the scene which they’d actually assumed was nonexistent prior to their discovery of the community. A lot of lesbian girls I talked to, especially those who’d just gotten out of high school and/or are freshmen/sophomores in university didn’t even KNOW there was a scene or that there were that many members of the community locally.

I do get that dodgy look, of course, when I say I met a date online. My friends narrow their eyes at me and suddenly say in hushed whispers, “How do you know she’s not some… serial killer?! Or some member of the mafia? What if she’s secretly married to so-and-so and is just playing you like a toy? Surely you deserve better!”

The usual concerns with Internet dating, yes. But a lot of these people are very much real – and with the really small lesbian dating puddle in Kuala Lumpur, you’ll find before long that your date probably has more than just a few friends in common with you and that a few of your social circles overlap. Perhaps, that is. It’s getting much easier to upload photos and videos nowadays, though, so a lot of these fears are somewhat alleviated.

Someone I know who advocates online dating replied sarcastically to the serial killer comment with, “Sure, and so the men some of these women follow home at a bar – total strangers, mind you! – after conversation over a vodka shot or two couldn’t ever be serial killers, eh?” She has a point, really. There’re risks everywhere, but the number of relationships that’ve spawned from e-meetings really have grown – and a lot of these people are happily committed couples, who couldn’t ask for more in the world.

Me? I enjoy it. Aren’t some of us just rather picky about the kind of people we like or are attracted to? Some like their women witty; some like them shy, or sweet. Some like them fiercely passionate, vocal and outspoken – some go for the cool, dorky types.

You never know either, really, whether someone outside of your Type will prove to be your greatest One True Love or at least a very enjoyable companion for the period of time you’re dating her. Life is full of surprises. But going online and checking out these profiles certainly narrows down the search – and it always helps when you find someone who has things in common with you and shares a particular hobby of yours that could help you bond, et al.

So, honestly? It’s all very unpredictable. But since the Internet’s growing to become something in our lives that’s never really going to go away (and certainly not anytime soon!), best make the most of it.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be a-getting back to my green tea and chatting up that hot bespectacled girl who just messaged me on Fridae…

This is the Sydney Gay & Lesbian Choir, with “Coming out on Christmas”

Some of the lyrics:

I intend to drop a bomb,
On my dear ol’ dad and mum.
For this year, without a doubt,
Is the Christmas I come out.

First I’ll get their full attention;
Then slip in a subtle mention:
“Lovely tree, and by the way,
Some of my closest friends,
Are gay”

That should do the job okay,
When I come out, on Christmas day.
“Oh say have you seen it now
Watch my parents have a cow”

For those who pick festive family gatherings like Christmas to come out (or already have), this one goes out to you! All the best, and Merry Christmas!