“So where’d you meet your current other half that seems permanently and awkwardly attached to the side of your left thigh?”

“We’re not that clingy, but I digress. Try guessing!”

“Huh. What, did your eyes meet across… wossname, a crowded room?”

“Cheesy lah you. No.”

“Nosy matchmaker friends?”

“Naaah. Nope.”

“What then!?”

“Shouldn’t it be obvious by now? The Internet!”

Fridae: one of the most popular gay dating websites in Asia (picture courtesy of WikiCommons)

Oh, yes. In this day and age where technology is completely dominating our lives down to the smallest details and one is rarely seen without a few gadgets on hand (at least the one – the mobile phone!), meeting and dating people over the Internet is in.

I didn’t actually have the aforementioned conversation with any of my friends per se (just dated a few casually, here and there, maybe a few meetings, yanno), but the very fact that I was on several lesbian/gay networking social websites raised more than just a few eyebrows when I told my acquaintances about Fridae, Purplelab.net and the likes.

People certainly have heard of online dating, but given the large number of online marriages that’ve been increasing exponentially as of late, it was usually associated with heterosexual couples without much focus on the LGBT community – for those who didn’t know of the LGBT sites, that is.

With the existence of these LGBT social websites and especially those that cater specifically to certain demographics (Purplelab for womyn, Trevvy for men, etc.), it’s easier to browse profiles of countless others online (even by area, for some websites) to meet potential dates while keeping the undesirable and The-Ones-I-Wouldn’t-Approach-Even-With-A-24-Foot-Pole at bay.

Dating someone over the Internet or even just meeting a girl online isn’t viewed with as much skepticism anymore, nowadays, to be honest. More and more people are actually becoming more open to the idea of meeting people online – in fact, rather than as a last resort, online dating has become somewhat… of a first resort. In other words, people are actually flocking to these sites to socialise and meet people and dates of their choice – and especially their Type, at times.

One of the reasons why the gay/lesbian scene is expanding even more as it is is thanks to the marvel that is the Internet, anyhow. With a click of a mouse, the loading of a webpage, checking out Facebook – events are becoming more and more accessible, and a lot more people in the community are finding out about the scene which they’d actually assumed was nonexistent prior to their discovery of the community. A lot of lesbian girls I talked to, especially those who’d just gotten out of high school and/or are freshmen/sophomores in university didn’t even KNOW there was a scene or that there were that many members of the community locally.

I do get that dodgy look, of course, when I say I met a date online. My friends narrow their eyes at me and suddenly say in hushed whispers, “How do you know she’s not some… serial killer?! Or some member of the mafia? What if she’s secretly married to so-and-so and is just playing you like a toy? Surely you deserve better!”

The usual concerns with Internet dating, yes. But a lot of these people are very much real – and with the really small lesbian dating puddle in Kuala Lumpur, you’ll find before long that your date probably has more than just a few friends in common with you and that a few of your social circles overlap. Perhaps, that is. It’s getting much easier to upload photos and videos nowadays, though, so a lot of these fears are somewhat alleviated.

Someone I know who advocates online dating replied sarcastically to the serial killer comment with, “Sure, and so the men some of these women follow home at a bar - total strangers, mind you! - after conversation over a vodka shot or two couldn’t ever be serial killers, eh?” She has a point, really. There’re risks everywhere, but the number of relationships that’ve spawned from e-meetings really have grown – and a lot of these people are happily committed couples, who couldn’t ask for more in the world.

Me? I enjoy it. Aren’t some of us just rather picky about the kind of people we like or are attracted to? Some like their women witty; some like them shy, or sweet. Some like them fiercely passionate, vocal and outspoken – some go for the cool, dorky types.

You never know either, really, whether someone outside of your Type will prove to be your greatest One True Love or at least a very enjoyable companion for the period of time you’re dating her. Life is full of surprises. But going online and checking out these profiles certainly narrows down the search – and it always helps when you find someone who has things in common with you and shares a particular hobby of yours that could help you bond, et al.

So, honestly? It’s all very unpredictable. But since the Internet’s growing to become something in our lives that’s never really going to go away (and certainly not anytime soon!), best make the most of it.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be a-getting back to my green tea and chatting up that hot bespectacled girl who just messaged me on Fridae…

This is the Sydney Gay & Lesbian Choir, with “Coming out on Christmas”

Some of the lyrics:

I intend to drop a bomb,
On my dear ol’ dad and mum.
For this year, without a doubt,
Is the Christmas I come out.

First I’ll get their full attention;
Then slip in a subtle mention:
“Lovely tree, and by the way,
Some of my closest friends,
Are gay”

That should do the job okay,
When I come out, on Christmas day.
“Oh say have you seen it now
Watch my parents have a cow”

For those who pick festive family gatherings like Christmas to come out (or already have), this one goes out to you! All the best, and Merry Christmas!

A line of dancers having a whole lot of fun to (unless my ears deceive me) Relient K’s “12 days of Christmas”.

I’m a bit early, but Merry Christmas

I may be spending too much time on Youtube, I know. I do love the shows available there though, from geek haven The Guild, to wacky Japanese talent shows. The sheer volume of content online means you can find queer-friendly content (or plenty more videos not related to sexuality). 

Right now, I have two videos I find hilarious, about people who are adamantly not gay.

This is a song by Ukulady, called “If I was gay”, written specially for (her Myspace friend?) Bridget McManus on her show. I think plenty of lesbians have been through some of these (or will be!) and can laugh at the cliches that get thrown in here.

If I was gay I’d totally make out with you

I’d touch your cooter and your boobies through your clothes

By the second date I might go below your skirt

But first we’d show each other photos of our cats

We’ll get matching tribal tattoos on our backs

And you’ll show me how to strap on that equipment

And we’ll giggle about my late gay development

(want to hear that second verse?)

 

If I was gay I’d totally make out with you

I’d make you mixed cds and text you all the time

And we’ll drink expensive wine and I’ll move in within a week

And all the lesbians will warn you that I’m straight

But we’ll ignore them because the sex will be great

And we’ll argue about adoption or the turkey baster

And my gay men will be so jealous

And my boyfriend will want to watch us 

 

If I was gay I’d totally make out with you

But since I’m not let’s just be best girlfriends

And I’ll hold your hair back when you barf on New Years Eve

And I’ll set you up with dykes that I keep up my sleeve

And there’ll always be a bit of sexual tension

Cause both of us love the extra attention

(cause we’re comedy whores)

Extra bolded sentences are from me, yes. *whistles*.

The next one is a series on Youtube. It’s brought to you by C Spot (also responsible for the awesome Gorgeous Tiny Chicken Machine show. I’ve just started watching it, so I can’t comment too much - this is what the website says:

Gaytown - great for gays, sucks for Owen. As a straight man living in a town where gay is normal, how can Owen fit in? He’s quest for acceptance begins in this first episode

Looks promising so far. To produce content like this, and the Ukulady’s song, you need a fair bit of exposure to some of the queer community’s quirks (and I talk as if we’re so different and share One Queer Hive Mind, my bad, I know).

Can you see why I’m on Youtube too much?

[ I may be developing a little, tiny, itty bitty, VERY HUGE crush on Bridget McManus :") ]

This is footage of rehearsals from American Vampire by the Wicked Boy Ballet Co, choreographed by Trevor Little, performed by Trevor Little and David Dubois. Apparently, it’s not just about vampires, it’s about the shape of the American soul.

Both dancers are in beautiful form, ravishing each other through dramatic choreography. The interaction between them, viewed as a romantic relationship, looks like one wraught with grief and pathos, the struggle for dominance - actually, I kid. Watching guys suck at each other’s necks, the only thing that makes me call it possibly latent homosexuality is that they’re vampires - these might not be gay vampires, they could just be doing it for the narrative! I’m tempted to make Anne Rice / yaoi manga comparisons.

Anyway, that’s not what matters - the dancing is gorgeous. I’ve love to see it.

More about the dance company here:

The Wicked Boy Ballet Co. is a contemporary men’s dance/theatre group based in Boston, MA. It’s mission is to explore story telling techniques through dance from a modern perspective, and to develop the internet as a unique artistic medium for the performing arts. 

WHO ARE WE?

Well…WE’RE WICKED

As in: wicked bad…or…wicked cool…or…”the wintah in Bahston is wicked bittah”…or…”I can kick my foahead wicked hahd!!!”

WE’RE BOYS.

‘Nuff said. We’re not opposed to girls. We like girls…well…some of us, at least. They’re useful. Sometimes. 

WE LIVE IN BOSTON.

So, you know…we eat at Dunkin’ Donuts a lot, and like, we hate giving directions… and we’ll tailgate your ass like a mo-fo.

WE’RE REALLY REALLY SEXY.

Trust us. Studies have conclusively shown that the Wicked Boys are, in fact, one of the leading causes of puberty in America today. No one wants to talk about it, but it’s true.

Would we lie?

(from their About Us page)

With a name like Wicked Boy Ballet Co, what’s not to like?

Many thanks to KL Fairy for contributing this post. KL Fairy blogs at www.klfairy.blogspot.com.

(image from www.foxnews.com)

Prince Daniel was galloping down the streets of the mythical land of Kuala Lipis on his great white steed one day when something caught his eye. While it wasn’t the prettiest or the most vivacious specimen he has ever encountered, that one person managed to arouse Prince Daniel’s desire and make his beat skip a beat.

That person was drenched in sweat after a hard day’s work, had jet black hair that flowed like a waterfall, with a face that bore the slightest hint of strength yet portrayed every inch of youthful tenderness. That person stood out of the crowd glaringly, but managed to blend in to the vast curiosities around.

Being the dashing debonair he always is, Prince Daniel walked up to that one person out of the crowd and ask the person out on a date. He said yes.

Sounds familiar?

It is the classic fairy tale beginning to all great love stories. Boy meets one true love. Boy falls in love and both of them live happily ever after. While this might be the ultimate fantasy for little girls, little boys like me do have them sometimes (always!).

While in this fairy tale there are two princes and no princess, the plot develops the same way if the princess was thrown into the mix: true love will always prevail and the happily ever after is soon to follow.

However, reality check, not everything happens like they do in fairy tales and it usually does not end with a happy ending. Most of the times, the two princes have to deal with a lot from the townsfolk’s erratic behaviour towards gays before living in the istana. Or even worst, the two princes would have to live double lives as straight men and arrange secret meetings in the dark of night to profess their love to each other. In other worst case scenario, the two princes might be stoned to death or burned at the stakes.

It is so easy for the townsfolk to spread love and joy towards each other, while chanting cries of unity and equal love for all races across the country and yet, it is so difficult for them to grasp the simple bond the two princes’ share for each other. Most townsfolk believe it is unnatural and sinful for the prince to fall in love with another prince, let alone for a prince to harbour feelings for another man.

How can the townsfolk practice what they preach about love, fairness, unity and equality when they could not simply give a chance to the two princes to live happily ever after? Is the townsfolk one true purpose on Earth to make the two princes lives a living hell? After all, all the two princes did was to love one another.

While the ending of this fairy tale is unforeseeable, we can send our best wishes to the two princes. In the mean time, it is time we embrace our own identity and started telling and educating people how similar we are.

Show the townsfolk that we not any different than they are. Show them that we are all human and are bonded together by the same flesh and blood. Show to them the universal love we share amongst gays to them. Eventually, when we open our hearts and extend a loving arm, a willing and understanding hand would reach back and grasp it.

To all gays out there, while society is being a bitch, out to make our lives hard, hold on tight to who you are. Against all the odds, your knight in shining armour is on the way. While he might be late due to the massive traffic jam along Jalan Sultan Ismail, rest assured, he is on the way.

P.S. Shh.. I wrote this during work, and I doubt that my boss would be very happy to find out that his employee is cajoling behind his back!!

Cheers,
KL Fairy.

www.klfairy.blogspot.com

I recently had a very interesting discussion with my alter ego about gay Malaysians.

“Wat you mean gay Malaysians? Of course la, Malaysia got a lot of gay people. Why not meh, weather is great, no big natural disasters, economy also can. Everybody happy lor!�?

Alas, though the thought of a large gay population in Malaysia is pleasant, there probably aren’t that many gay Malaysians in Malaysia. If one were to follow the Kinsey rule of thumb, there are about 2 million gay individuals in Malaysia - about 10 percent of the Malaysian population.

Read the full article at: thecicak.com