The biggest LGBT rights rally in America since the commencement of Obama’s administration. Read more on CNN. Enjoy the photos!

Yours truly at the White House.

Say, Malaysians, when are you going to speak up?

Reading a collection of essays on indigenous rights kept reminding me about the similarities the movement for indigenous rights have with the movement for queer rights. In an essay by Kirk Endicott*, where he lists an amazing number of oppressive policies the federal and state government practices against the Orang Asli and indigenous groups of Borneo (i.e. low compensation for snatching land away, destructive Islamic missionary initiatives, and a Jabatan Hal Ehwal Orang Asli that is made up of Malays), the struggle of the Orang Asli and other indigenous peoples around the world, in their act of revolution against the hegemonizing nation-state, reminds me of an inspiring manifesto I had once read. Finding it today, again, I want to share a touching paragraph on the politics of reclamation and self-identification – one that, if sometimes seems more confrontational than conciliatory, restores faith in the self-worth of the community. In the indigenous communities that most of the time lack proper access to infrastructure and education, such a manifesto, I hope, renews some hope for coalition building (perhaps not at the expense of making invisible the diversity within the coalition) so that our Original Peoples are included in Najib’s farcical 1Malaysia.

A paragraph from the manifesto of Queer Nation.

“AN ARMY OF LOVERS CANNOT LOSE

Being queer is not about a right to privacy; it is about the freedom to be public, to just be who we are. It means everyday fighting oppression; homophobia, racism, misogyny, the bigotry of religious hypocrites and our own self-hatred. (We have been carefully taught to hate ourselves.) And now of course it means fighting a virus as well, and all those homo-haters who are using AIDS to wipe us off the face of the earth. Being queer means leading a different sort of life. It’s not about the mainstream, profit-margins, patriotism, patriarchy or being assimilated. It’s not about executive directors, privilege and elitism. It’s about being on the margins, defining ourselves; it’s about gender- fuck and secrets, what’s beneath the belt and deep inside the heart; it’s about the night. Being queer is “grass roots” because we know that everyone of us, every body, every cunt, every heart and ass and dick is a world of pleasure waiting to be explored. Everyone of us is a world of infinite possibility. We are an army because we have to be. We are an army because we are so powerful. (We have so much to fight for; we are the most precious of endangered species.) And we are an army of lovers because it is we who know what love is. Desire and lust, too. We invented them. We come out of the closet, face the rejection of society, face firing squads, just to love each other! Every time we fuck, we win. We must fight for ourselves (no one else is going to do it) and if in that process we bring greater freedom to the world at large then great. (We’ve given so much to that world: democracy, all the arts, the concepts of love, philosophy and the soul, to name just a few gifts from our ancient Greek Dykes, Fags.) Let’s make every space a Lesbian and Gay space. Every street a part of our sexual geography. A city of yearning and then total satisfaction. A city and a country where we can be safe and free and more. We must look at our lives and see what’s best in them, see what is queer and what is straight and let that straight chaff fall away! Remember there is so, so little time. And I want to be a lover of each and every one of you. Next year, we march naked.”

For the rest of the manifesto, please visit here.

*Kirk Endicott, with his wife, Karen Endicott, have published a book on the egalitarian social relationships, including gender!!, in the Batek community of Malaysia. He has also edited and written several works on indigenous rights and the Orang Asli and indigenous communities of Malaysia. His bio page can be read here.

Sayoni presents the first ever Coming Out Guide in Singapore. Please provide your feedback on the guide.

This preliminary version of the guide was launched on 1 August, at the opening of IndigNation 2009, Singapore’s pride season.

From Launch of Coming Out Guide (preliminary version)

While I haven’t read the entire pdf, I did manage to go through a few sections and I feel that certain sections (debunking myths!) will be helpful for those with questions towards their own sexuality. Anj Ho, one of the presenters for Seksualiti Merdeka last year on spotting homophobic traits, is heading the team behind this booklet.

It also shows with simple diagrams and explanations, how sexuality orientation is comprised of sexual identity, attraction and behaviour. If you’ve ever wondered why certain things queer people do conflict with ideas you have on what they should be doing (ie: is a lesbian who sleeps with a man still a lesbian?), you should probably pick up some 101 guidance here.

Give it a go and see how you react to the content.

Here’s an article that I found extremely interesting and important in reminding us that the movement for equal rights can sometimes be (dangerously) dominated by those of us already in privileged positions, if we are not careful and aware of our own politics when advocating for a certain position. To quote a favorite historian and queer rights activist of mine, Tim McCarthy, who tells a predominantly gay and lesbian audience, “Let’s not throw the trans (or insert any minority part of the LGBTQ community, such as the black, hispanic, asian, low-income, immigrant, etc. LGBTQ community) people under the bus!”

By LZ Granderson
Special to CNN

Editor’s note: LZ Granderson is a senior writer and columnist for ESPN The Magazine and ESPN.com, and has contributed to ESPN’s Sports Center, Outside the Lines and First Take. He is the 2009 Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) award winner for online journalism and the 2008 National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association (NLGJA) winner for column writing.
LZ Granderson says criticism of President Obama by the gay community has gone too far.

LZ Granderson says criticism of President Obama by the gay community has gone too far.

(CNN) — Far from flowing rainbow flags, the sound of Lady Gaga and, quite honestly, white people, stands a nightclub just outside of Wicker Park in Chicago, Illinois, by the name of The Prop House.

The line to get in usually stretches down the block, and unlike many of the clubs in Boystown and Andersonville, this one plays hip-hop and caters to men who may or may not openly identify as gay, but without question are black and proud.

And a good number of them are tired of hearing how the gay community is disappointed in President Obama, because they are not.

In recent weeks, one would have thought the nation’s first black president was also the nation’s biggest homophobe. Everyone from Oscar winner Dustin Lance Black and radio personality Rachel Maddow to Joe Solmonese, the president of Human Rights Campaign, the country’s largest gay advocacy group, seem to be blasting Obama for everything from “don’t ask don’t tell” to Adam Lambert not winning American Idol.

In their minds, Obama is not moving fast enough on behalf of the GLBT community. The outcry is not completely without merit — the Justice Department’s unnerving brief on the Defense of Marriage Act immediately comes to mind. I was upset by some of the statements, but not surprised. (After the Tuskegee Syphilis Study, President Ronald Reagan’s initial handling of AIDS and, more recently, Katrina, there is little that surprises me when it comes to the government and the treatment of its people.)

Still, rarely has criticism regarding Obama and the GLBT community come from the kind of person you would find standing in line at a spot like The Prop House, and there’s a reason for that.

Despite the catchiness of the slogan, gay is not the new black.

Black is still black.

And if any group should know this, it’s the gay community.

Bars such as The Prop House, or Bulldogs in Atlanta, Georgia, exist because a large number of gay blacks — particularly those who date other blacks, and live in the black community — do not feel a part of the larger gay movement. There are Gay Pride celebrations, and then there are Black Gay Prides.

There’s a popular bar in the heart of the nation’s capital that might as well rename itself Antebellum, because all of the white patrons tend to stay upstairs and the black patrons are on the first floor. Last year at the annual Human Rights Campaign national fundraiser in Washington, D.C. — an event that lasted more than three hours — the only black person to make it on stage was the entertainment.

When Proposition 8 passed in California, white gays were quick to blame the black community despite blacks making up less than 10 percent of total voters and whites being close to 60 percent. At protest rallies that followed, some gay blacks reported they were even hit with racial epithets by angry white participants. Not to split hairs, but for most blacks, the n-word trumps the f-word.

So while the white mouthpiece of the gay community shakes an angry finger at intolerance and bigotry in their blogs and on television, blacks and other minorities see the dirty laundry. They see the hypocrisy of publicly rallying in the name of unity but then privately living in segregated pockets. And then there is the history.

The 40th anniversary of Stonewall dominated Gay Pride celebrations around the country, and while that is certainly a significant moment that should be recognized, 40 years is nothing compared with the 400 blood-soaked years black people have been through in this country. There are stories some blacks lived through, stories others were told by their parents and stories that never had a chance to be told.

While those who were at Stonewall talk about the fear of being arrested by police, 40 years ago, blacks talked about the fear of dying at the hands of police and not having their bodies found or murder investigated. The 13th Amendment was signed in 1865, and it wasn’t until 1948 that President Harry S Truman desegregated the military. That’s more than an 80-year gap.

Not to be flip, but Miley Cyrus is older than Bill Clinton’s “don’t ask, don’t tell.” That doesn’t mean that the safety of gay people should be trivialized or that Obama should not be held accountable for the promises he made on the campaign trail. But to call this month’s first-ever White House reception for GLBT leaders “too little too late” is akin to a petulant child throwing a tantrum because he wants to eat his dessert before dinner. This is one of the main reasons why so many blacks bristle at the comparison of the two movements — everybody wants to sing the blues, nobody wants to live them.

This lack of perspective is only going to alienate a black community that is still very proud of Obama and is hypersensitive about any criticism of him, especially given he’s been in office barely six months.

If blacks are less accepting of gays than other racial groups — and that is certainly debatable — then the parade of gay people calling Obama a “disappointment” on television is counterproductive in gaining acceptance, to say the least. And the fact that the loudest critics are mostly white doesn’t help matters either.

Hearing that race matters in the gay community may not be comforting to hear, but that doesn’t make it any less true.

The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of LZ Granderson.

By THE NEW YORK TIMES
Published: August 2, 2009

Only weeks after the Episcopal Church ended a de facto moratorium on promoting gay men and lesbians into the church hierarchy, church leaders in Los Angeles nominated two openly gay priests as assistant bishops on Sunday.

The move came a day after a church search committee in Minnesota announced that it had settled on three candidates, one of them a lesbian, for bishop.

The decisions are certain to rekindle the hostilities between the liberal and conservatives factions within the Episcopal Church in the United States and between the church and the Anglican Communion, the generally conservative global network of churches to which the Episcopal Church belongs.

The moratorium on ordaining gays and lesbians into the church hierarchy was adopted three years ago and helped calm conservatives in the Anglican Communion, which was nearly torn apart by the election in 2003 of the church’s first and only openly gay bishop, V. Gene Robinson of the Episcopal Diocese of New Hampshire. But church members voted overwhelmingly on July 14 at a general convention in Anaheim, Calif., to reopen the door to bishops who are openly gay.

The Diocese of Los Angeles, one of the largest and most liberal in the country, announced Sunday the nomination of six priests as candidates for two assistant bishop jobs. The list included two openly gay clerics, the Rev. Canon Mary D. Glasspool, 55, who is currently canon to the bishops in the Diocese of Maryland, based in Baltimore, and the Rev. John L. Kirkley, 42, who is rector of St. John the Evangelist Church in San Jose, Calif., part of the Diocese of California.

“I affirm each and every one of these candidates, and I am pleased with the wide diversity they offer this diocese,” the Rt. Rev. J. Jon Bruno, bishop of the Diocese of Los Angeles, said in a statement.

The two new assistant bishops are to be chosen in December during the annual convention of the diocese.

The nominations of Ms. Glasspool and Mr. Kirkley came after the search committee of the Episcopal Diocese of Minnesota announced the names of three candidates for bishop, including the Rev. Bonnie Perry, rector of All Saints’ Episcopal Church in Chicago.

Ms. Perry, who has served as vicar and rector of All Saints’ for nearly 17 years, has for the last 22 years been in a relationship with the Rev. Susan Harlow, who is also an Episcopal priest.

“As we continue to discern God’s call,” Ms. Perry said in a statement on Sunday, “I pray that we will bear witness to the Gospel of Jesus Christ that changes people’s lives and proclaims the profound inclusivity and hospitality of God.”’

Ms. Perry, 47, was ordained in 1990 and spent two years serving at various churches in New Jersey before going to Chicago. In 2005, she was one of five nominees for bishop of California.

Saturday was the first day of a two-week petition process which allows for open nominations for the next Episcopal bishop of Minnesota.

A full slate, including both search committee candidates and petition candidates, is to be announced on Sept. 25, and the election of the new bishop is scheduled for Oct. 31, during the annual convention in Minneapolis.

This wonderful story on the social construction of gender is a MUST-READ for everyone.

A Fabulous Child’s Story

by Lois Gould

Once upon a time, a baby named X was born. This baby was named X so that nobody could tell whether it was a boy or a girl. Its parents could tell, of course, but they couldn’t tell anybody else. They couldn’t even tell Baby X at first.

You see, it was all part of a very important Secret Scientific Xperiment, known officially as Project Baby X. The smartest scientists had set up this Xperiment at a cost of Xactly 23 billion dollars and 72 cents, which might seem like a lot for just one baby, even a very important Xperimental baby. But when you remember the prices of things like strained carrots and stuffed bunnies, and popcorn for the movies and booster shots for camp, let alone 28 shiny quarters from the tooth fairy, you begin to see how it adds up.

Also, long before Baby X was born, all those scientists had to be paid to work out the details of the Xperiment, and to write the Official Instruction Manual for Baby X’s parents and, most important of all, to find the right set of parents to bring up Baby X. These parents had to be selected very carefully. Thousands of volunteers had to take thousands of tests and answer thousands of tricky questions. Almost everybody failed because, it turned out, almost everybody really wanted either a baby boy or a baby girl, and not Baby X at all. Also, almost everybody was afraid that a Baby X would be a lot more trouble than a boy or a girl. (They were probably right, the scientists admitted, but Baby X needed parents who wouldn’t mind the Xtra trouble.)

There were families with grandparents named Milton and Agatha, who didn’t see why the baby couldn’t be named Milton or Agatha instead of X, even if it was an X. There were families with aunts who insisted on knitting tiny dresses and uncles who insisted on sending tiny baseball mitts. Worst of all, these were families that already had other children who couldn’t be trusted to keep the secret. Certainly not if they knew the secret was worth 23 billion dollars and 72 cents – and all you had to do was take one little peek at Baby X in the bathtub to know if it was a boy or girl.

But, finally, the scientists found the Joneses, who really wanted to raise an X more than any other kind of baby – no matter how much trouble it would be. Ms. and Mr. Jones had to promise they would take equal turns caring for X, and feeding it, and singing it lullabies. And they had to promise never to hire any baby-sitters. The government scientists knew perfectly well that a baby-sitter would probably peek at X in the bathtub, too.

The day the Joneses brought their baby home, lots of friends and relatives came over to see it. None of them knew about the secret Xperiment, though. So the first thing they asked was what kind of a baby X was. When the Joneses smiled and said, “It’s an X,” nobody knew what to say. They couldn’t say, “Look at her cute little dimples!” And they couldn’t say, “Look at his husky little biceps!” And they couldn’t even say just plain “kitchycoo”. In fact, they all thought the Joneses were playing some kind of rude joke.

But of course, the Joneses were not joking. “It’s an X” was absolutely all they would say. And that made the friends and relatives very angry. The relatives all felt embarrassed about having an X in the family. “People will think there’s something wrong with it!” some of them whispered. “There is something wrong with it!” others whispered back.

“Nonsense!” the Joneses told them all cheerfully. “What could possibly be wrong with this perfectly adorable X?”

Nobody could answer that, except Baby X, who had just finished its bottle. Baby X’s answer was a loud, satisfied BURP!

Clearly, nothing at all was wrong. Nevertheless, none of the relatives felt comfortable about buying a present for a Baby X. The cousins who sent the baby a tiny football helmet would not come and visit anymore. And the neighbours who sent a pink-flowered romper suit pulled their shades down when the Joneses passed their house. The Official Instruction Manual had warned the new parents that this would happen, so they didn’t fret about it. Besides, they were too busy with Baby X and the hundreds of different Xercises for treating it properly.

Ms. and Mr. Jones had to be Xtra careful about how they played with little X. They knew that if they kept bouncing it up in the air and saying how strong and active it was, they’d be treating it more like a boy than an X. But if all they did was cuddle it and kiss it and tell it how sweet and dainty it was, they’d be treating it more like a girl than an X.

On page 1654 of the Official Instruction Manual, the scientists prescribed: “plenty of bouncing and plenty of cuddling, both, X ought to be strong and sweet and active. Forget about dainty altogether”.

Meanwhile, the Joneses were worrying about other problems. Toys, for instance, and clothes. On his first shopping trip, Mr. Jones told the store clerk, “I need some clothes and toys for my new baby”. The clerk smiled and said, “Well now, is it a. boy or a girl”

“It’s an X”, Mr Jones said, smiling back. But the clerk got all red in the face and said huffily, “In that case, I’m afraid I can’t help you, sir”.

So Mr Jones wandered helplessly up and down the aisles trying to find out what X needed. But everything in the store was piled up in sections marked “Boys” or “Girls”.

There were “Boy’s’ Pyjamas” and “Girls’ Underwear” and “Boys’ Fire Engines” and “Girl’s Housekeeping Sets”. Mr. Jones went home without buying anything for X. That night he and Ms. Jones consulted page 2326 of the Official Instruction Manual. “Buy plenty of everything”, it said firmly.

So they bought plenty of sturdy blue pyjamas in the Boys’ Department and cheerful flowered underwear in the Girls’ Department. And they bought all kinds of toys. A boy doll that made pee-pee and cried, “Pa-pa”. And a girl doll that talked in three languages and said “I am the Pres-i-dent of Gen-er-al Mo-tors”. They also bought a story-book about a brave princess who rescued a handsome prince from his ivory tower, and another one about a sister and brother who grew up to be a baseball star and a ballet star, and you had to guess which was which.

The head scientists of Project Baby X checked all their purchases and told them to keep up the good work. They also reminded the Joneses to see page 4629 of the Manual, where it said: “Never make Baby X feel embarrassed or ashamed about what it wants to play with. And if X gets dirty climbing rocks, never say “Nice little Xes don’t get dirty climbing rocks.”

Likewise, it said: “If X falls down and cries, never say, “Brave little Xes don’t cry”. Because of course, nice little Xes do get dirty, and brave little Xes do cry. No matter how dirty X gets, or how hard it cries, don’t worry. It’s all part of the Xperiment.”

Whenever the Joneses pushed Baby X’s stroller in the park, smiling strangers would come over and coo: “Is that a boy or a girl?” The Joneses would smile back and say, “It’s an X”. The strangers would stop smiling then, and often snarl something nasty – as if the Joneses had snarled at them.

By the time X grew big enough to play with other children, the Jones’ troubles had grown bigger too. Once a little girl grabbed X’s shovel in the sandbox and zonked X on the head with it.

“Now, now, Tracy”, the little girl’s mother began to scold, “little girls mustn’t hit little -” and she turned to ask X, “Are you a little boy or a little girl, dear?”

Mr. Jones, who was sitting near the sandbox, held his breath and crossed his fingers.

X smiled politely at the lady, even though X’s head had never been zonked so hard in all its life. “I’m a little X”, X replied.

“You’re a what ?” the lady exclaimed angrily. “You’re a little B.R.A.T., you mean”.

“But little girls mustn’t hit little Xes, either!” said X, retrieving the shovel with another polite smile. “What good does hitting do, anyway?”

X’s father, who was still holding his breath, finally let it out, uncrossed his fingers and grinned back at X.

And at their next secret Project Baby X meeting, the scientists grinned too. Baby X was doing fine.

But then it was time for X to start school. The Joneses were really worried about this, because school was even more full of rules for boys and girls and there were no rules for Xes. The teachers would tell boys to form one line, and girls to form another line. There would be boys’ games and girls’ games and boys’ secrets and girls’ secrets. The school library would have a list of recommended books for girls and a different list of recommended books for boys. There would even be a bathroom marked BOYS and another marked GIRLS. Pretty soon boys and girls would hardly talk to each other. What would happen to poor little X!

The Joneses spent weeks consulting their Instruction Manual (there were 246 and 1/2 pages of advice under “First Day at School”), and attending urgent special conferences with the smart scientists of Project Baby X.

The scientists had to make sure that X’s mother had taught X how to throw and catch a ball properly and that X’s father had been sure to teach X what to serve at a doll’s tea party. X had to know how to shoot marbles and how to jump rope, and most of all, what to say when the other children asked whether X was a boy or a girl.

Finally, X was ready.

The Joneses helped X button on a nice new pair of red-and-white checked overalls, and sharpened six pencils for X’s nice new pencil box and marked X’s name clearly on all the books in its nice new book bag. X brushed its teeth and combed its hair, which just about covered its ears and remembered to put a napkin in its lunchbox.

The Joneses had asked X’s teacher if the class could line up alphabetically, instead of forming separate lines for boys and girls. And they had asked if X could use the principal’s bathroom, because it wasn’t marked anything except “BATHROOM”. X’s teacher promised to take care of all those problems. But nobody could help X with the biggest problem of all – other children.

Nobody in X’s class had ever known an X before. What would they think? How would X make friends?

You couldn’t tell what X was by studying its clothes – overalls don’t even button right-to-l eft, like girls’ clothes or left-to-right, like boys’ clothes. And you couldn’t guess whether X lad a girls’ short haircut or a boy’s long haircut. And it was very hard to tell by the games X liked to play. Either X played ball very well for a girl, or else X played house very well for a boy.

Some of the children tried to find out by asking (tricky questions, like “Who’s your favourite sports star?” That was easy. X had two favourite sport stars: a girl jockey named Robyn Smith and a boy archery champion lamed Robin Hood. Then they asked, what’s your favourite television programme?” And hat was even easier. X’s favourite television programme was “lassie” which stars a girl dog played by a boy dog.

Then X said that its favourite toy was a doll, everyone decided that X must be a girl. But hen X said that the doll was really a robot, and that X had computerised it, and that it was programmed to bake fudge brownies and then clean up the kitchen. After X told them that, the Other Children gave up guessing what X was. All they knew was they’d sure like to see X’s doll.

After school, X wanted to play with the other children.

“How about shooting some baskets in the gym?” X asked all the girls. But all they did was make faces and giggle behind X’s back. “How about weaving some baskets in the arts and crafts room?” X asked the boys. But they all made faces and giggled behind X’s back, too.

That night, Ms. and Mr. Jones asked X how things had gone at school. X told them sadly that the lessons were okay, but otherwise school was a terrible place for an X. It seemed as if Other Children would never want an X for a friend.

Once more, the Joneses reached for their Instruction Manual. Under “Other Children”, they found the following message: “What did you Xpect? Other Children have to obey all the silly boy-girl rules, because their parents taught them to. Lucky X – you don’t have to stick to the rules at all! All you have to do is be yourself. We’re not saying if it be easy.”

X liked being itself. But X cried a lot that night, partly because it felt afraid. So X’s father held X tight and cuddled it and couldn’t help crying a little too. And X’s mother cheered them both up by reading an Xciting story about an enchanted prince called Sleeping Handsome, who woke up when Princess Charming kissed him.

The next morning, they all felt much better and little X went back to school with a brave smile and a clean pair of red-and-white checked overalls.

There was a seven-letter-word spelling bee in class that day. And a seven-lap boys’ relay race in the gym. And a seven-layer-cake baking contest in the girls’ kitchen corner. X won the spelling bee. X also won the relay race. And X almost won the baking contest, except it forgot to light the oven. Which only proves that nobody’s perfect.

One of the Other Children noticed something else, too. He said: “Winning or losing doesn’t seem to count to X. X seems to have fun being good at boys’ skills and girls’ skills”.

“Come to think of if, said another of the Other Children, “maybe X is having twice as much fun as we are.”

So after school that day, the girl who beat X at the baking contests gave X a big slice of her prizewinning cake. And the boy X beat in the relay race asked X to race him home.

From then on, some really funny things began to happen. Susie, who sat next to X in class, suddenly refused to wear pink dresses to school any more. She insisted on wearing red-and-white checked overalls – just like X’s overalls, she told her parents, were much better for climbing monkey bars.

Then Jim, the class football nut, started wheeling his little sister’s doll carriage around the football field. He’d put on his entire football uniform, except for the helmet. Then he put the helmet in the carriage, lovingly tucked under an old set of shoulder pads. Then he started jogging around the field, pushing the carriage and singing “Rock a bye Baby” to his football helmet. He told his family that X did the same thing, so it must be okay. After all, X was now the team’s star quarter-back.

Susie’s parents were horrified by her behaviour, and Jim’s parents were worried sick about his. But the worst came when the twins, Joe and Peggy, decided to share everything with each other. Peggy used Joe’s hockey skates, and his microscope, and took half his newspaper route. Joe used Peggy’s needlepoint kit, Peggy started running the lawn mower and Joe started running the vacuum cleaner.

Their parents weren’t one bit pleased with Peggy’s wonderful biology experiments, or with Joe’s terrific needlepoint pillows. They didn’t care that Peggy mowed the lawn better, and that Joe vacuumed the carpet better. In fact they were furious.

It’s all that little X’s fault, they agreed. Just because X doesn’t know what it is, or what it’s supposed to be, it wants to get everybody else mixed up, too! Peggy and Joe were forbidden to play with X anymore. So was Susie, and then Jim, and then all the Other Children. But it was too late; the Other Children stayed mixed up and happy and free, and refused to go back to the way they’d been before X.

Finally, Joe and Peggy’s parents decided to call an emergency meeting of the school’s Parents’ Association, to discuss “The X Problem”. They sent a report to the principal stating that X was a “disruptive influence”.

They demanded immediate action. The Joneses, they said, should be forced to tell whether X was a boy or a girl. And then X should be forced to behave like whichever it was. If the Joneses refused to tell, the Parents’ Association said, then X must take an Xaminiation. The school Psychiatrist must Xamine it physically and mentally and issue a full report. If X’s test showed it was a boy, it would have to obey all the boys’ rules. If it proved to be a girl, X would have to obey all the girls’ rules, and if X turned out to be some kind of mixed up misfit, then X should be Xpelled from the school. Immediately!

The Principal was very upset. Disruptive influence? Mixed-up misfit? But X was an Xcellent student. All the teachers said it was a delight to have X in their classes. X was President of the student council. X had won First prize in the talent show and second prize in the art show and honourable mention in the science fair and six athletic events on field day, including the potato race.

Nevertheless, insisted the Parents’ Association, X is a Problem Child. X is the Biggest Problem Child we have ever seen!

So the Principal reluctantly notified X’s parents that numerous complaints about X’s behaviour had come to the school’s attention. And that after the Psychiatrist’s Xaminiation, the school would decide what to do about X.

The Joneses reported this at once to the scientists, who referred them to page 85759 of the I nstruction Manual. “Sooner or later,” it said, “X will have to be Xamined by a Psychiatrist. This may be the only way any of us will know for sure whether X is mixed up or whether everyone else is”.

The night before X was to be Xamined, the Joneses tried not to let X see how worried they were.

“What if” Mr. Jones would say. And Ms. Jones would reply, “No use worrying”.

Then a few minutes later, Ms. Jones would say, “What if” and Mr. Jones would reply, “No use worrying”.

X just smiled at them both, and hugged them hard and didn’t say much of anything. X was thinking, What if? And then X thought: No use worrying.

At Xactly 9 o’clock the next day, X reported to the school Psychiatrist’s office. The Principal, along with a committee from the Parents’ Association, X’s teacher, X’s classmates and Ms. and Mr. Jones waited in the hall outside. Nobody knew the details of the tests X was to be given, but everybody knew they’d be very hard, and that they’d reveal Xactly what everyone wanted to know about X, but was afraid to ask.

It was terribly quiet in the hall. Almost spooky! Once in a while, they would hear a strange noise inside the room. There were buzzes. And a beep or two, and several bells. An occasional light would flash under the door. The Joneses thought it was a white light, but the Principal thought it was blue. Two or three children swore it was either yellow or green. And the Parents’ Committee missed it completely.

Through it all, you could hear the Psychiatrist’s low voice, asking hundreds of questions, and X’s higher voice, answering hundreds of answers. The whole thing took so long that everyone knew it must be the most complete Xaminiation anyone had ever had to take. Poor X, the Joneses thought Serves X right, the Parents’ Committee thought! Wouldn’t like to be in X’s overalls right now, the children thought.

At last, the door opened. Everyone crowded around to hear the results. X didn’t look any different; in fact, X was smiling. But the Psychiatrist looked terrible. He looked as if he was crying!

“What happened?” everyone began shouting. Had X done something disgraceful? “I wouldn’t be a bit surprised!” muttered Peggy and Joe’s parents.

“Did X flunk the whole test?” cried Susie’s parents. “Or just the most important part?” yelled Jim’s parents. “Oh, dear”, sighed Mr Jones. “Oh, dear”, sighed Ms. Jones. “Sssh”, sssshed the Principal. “The Psychiatrist is trying to speak”.

Wiping his eyes and clearing his throat, the psychiatrist began in a hoarse whisper.

“In my opinion”, he whispered – you could tell he must be very upset – “in my opinion, young X here -”

“Yes? Yes” shouted a parent impatiently. “Sssssh!” sssshed the Principal.

“Young Ssssshhh here, I mean, young X” said the doctor, frowning, “is just about … “. “Just about WHAT? Let’s have it!” shouted another parent. “Just about the least mixed-up child I’ve ever Xamined” said the Psychiatrist. “Yah for X,” yelled one of the children. And then the others began yelling, too. Clapping and cheering and jumping up and down. “SSSSSHH!” Ssshed the Principal, but nobody did.

The Parents’ Committee was angry and bewildered. How COULD X have passed the whole Xamination? Didn’t X have an identity problem? Wasn’t X mixed up at ALL? Wasn’t X any kind of misfit? How could it NOT be, when it didn’t even KNOW what it was? And why was the Psychiatrist crying?

Actually, he had stopped crying and was smiling politely through his tears. “Don’t you see?” he said, “I’m crying because it’s wonderful! X has absolutely no identity problem! X isn’t one bit mixed up! As for being a misfit – ridiculous! X knows perfectly well what it is! Don’t you, X? the doctor winked. X winked back.

“But what IS X?” Shrieked Peggy and Joe’s parents. “We still want to know what it is!” “Ah, yes”, said the doctor winking again. “Well, don’t worry. You’ll all know one of these days. And you won’t need me to tell you.” “What? What does he mean?” some of the parents grumbled suspiciously.

Susie and Peggy and Joe all answered all at once. “He means that by the time X’s sex matters, it won’t be a secret anymore!”

With that, the doctor began to push through the crowd towards X’s parents. “How do you do?” he said, somewhat stiffly. And then he reached out to hug them both. “If I ever have an X of my own,” he whispered, “I sure hope you’ll lend me your instruction manual”.

Needless to say, the Joneses were very happy. The Project Baby X scientists were rather pleased too. So were Susie, Jim, Peggy, Joe, and all the Other Children. The Parents’ Association wasn’t, but they had promised to accept the Psychiatrist’s report and not make any more trouble. They even invited Ms. and Mr. Jones to become honorary members, which they did.

Later that day, X’s friends put on their red-and-white-checked overalls and went over to see X. They found X in the back yard, playing with a very tiny baby that none of them had even seen before. The baby was wearing very tiny red-and-white-checked overalls.

“How do you like our new baby?” X asked the Other Children proudly. “It’s got cute dimples,” said Jim. “It’s got husky biceps, too”, said Susie. “What kind of baby is it?” asked Joe and Peggy.

X frowned at them. “Can’t you tell?” Then X broke into a big, mischievous grin, “It’s a Y!”

If you didn’t get to listen to the two hours that I did for Pride48, here are the two hours of shows from last weekend’s Pride48 live webcast.

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Voice Comment: (206) 338-ONG-9

:: download file :: listen on iPhone ::

Duration: 56:13 | 26.1MB | Mono |

Chatting with a couple of my Asian friends about Pride and being gay in Malaysia.

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Voice Comment: (206) 338-ONG-9

:: download file :: listen on iPhone ::

Duration: 59:16 | 27.5MB | Mono |

Gay role models in Asia. Sex in Asia. I broke into Malaysian English off and on.

Many thanks to one of our readers, Padawan, for contributing this article.

I got a little bit nutty this afternoon, nutty in a sense that I actually considered telling my mom that I am gay.

I do not know what got into me this afternoon, but it never quite struck me before this that I should actually consider letting my mom know the truth regarding sexuality. But why? Well maybe I am just tired of hiding it from her all the time. I have always told her that “I will never get married”…to a man that is, but I never said anything about being married to a woman. I never denied being gay to my mother, and neither did I ever admit that I was straight, ever.

It did occur to me today that there is nothing thats stopping me from changing my status quo in my family. It is just really a matter of whether I wanted to. So what if her youngest daughter suddenly told her that she is gay? I mean, what is the most she could do to me? Throw me out? Disown me? Probably, but not likely – after all, I am her ‘anak kesayangan’ (I admit) since my (straight) siblings have already left the nest.

I think before this, the thought of ‘coming out’ of my parents would seem entirely alien. And by ‘this’ I would mean before graduating and getting a decent job, which I only just begun at this year. Now that I somewhat have control over my finances, its sure as hell is a possibility that I could one day go to my mom and tell her,”‘mom, I don’t like men and I cannot ever be with one”. Maybe…just maybe.

I wonder how many PLUs out there suffer this predicament; parents do not that know you are gay, mom wants to hook you up with so-and-so’s son who is a who’s-who of some company. It must annoy you to bits! And you just want to shout out aloud “Mom I’m gay!’. I address this topic to the boys too. It must be harder for them. If you’re 30 (for example), single, got a good job and gay, mom’s bound to realise that you have never brought any of your ’friends’ home for dinner.

I am quite fortunate to have parents that are quite liberal, liberal in a sense that they do not expect me to find a man and start making babies rightaway. As far as my mother goes, she is completely fine with me remaining single all my life…but me being a lesbian? I am….not so sure though.

The essence of ‘coming out’ is surely not confined to just your family. But I am sure, for many, that is the starting point as gaining acceptance for who you are from the people who are closest to you, surely means alot. But I am sure there are just as many of us who would rather hide the truth from mom and dad simply because we would rather not break their hearts. I think I am quite right to say that most parents would rather not have their children turn out to be gay.

And to be honest I am not sure about this whole ‘coming out’ thing either. Although most of my gay friends do tell me that I have ‘gay’ written all over me. But heck, what do they know, they are just as gay as I am (haha). Plus, I would be darned if people at work knew about how gay I was (very). Which makes me take a step back and look at this whole ‘coming out’ issue more carefully, now I simply would not want my boss or colleagues to know would I?No way.

It seems like I am taking baby-steps at coming out of the closet. It seems after spending 20-odd years in there (I have been gay for as long as I can remember) I have gotten quite comfortable in there, a tad reluctant to step out..perhaps doing it one foot at a time for now, and occasionally stepping back in and shutting the door because I just do not know if it will be okay if I come out.

Occasionally it does get a little lonely in there. I know a part of me feels the need to be addressed by my own ‘team’ someday. It could just be that I am longing to find somewhere I belong in this world. What about you?

I hope you do not think I am pathetic. I have only a handful of PLU friends and all my best friends are straight. I do not hang out at gay clubs because I am not really interested in the gay clubbing scene altogether. What I appreciate is people like you and me, who are realistic about living in this straight straight real world, were we have work, earn and face the boss, come home from work and have dinner with your mother.

I discovered TiltedWorld close to a year ago, and it took me that long to finally say something around here. Well, maybe I am taking baby steps at this whole ‘coming out’ thing, albeit too small of a step maybe. But then again, what is the rush in it? Being gay is about knowing who you are inside, rather than who knows that you are gay.

Great talk on self by Sarah Jones in one of the TED talk series. Her characters just blew me away. One of them talked about dealing with her daughter coming out. Check the video out

Jakarta [3 June 2009]. On 9-13 August 2009, Bali will host the 9th International Congress on AIDS in Asia and the Pacific (ICAAP) – the biggest congress on HIV and AIDS in the region. Approximately 3,000 delegates from 51 Asian and 14 Pacific countries are expected to attend this congress. The theme of the
9th ICAAP is “Empowering People, Strengthening Networks” to support a vibrant community of empowered people, all across Asia and the Pacific, to mobilize a holistic and more effective response to the crossborder challenges of today’s HIV pandemic.
The Local Organizing Committee Chair, Prof. Dr. Zubairi Djoerban,Sp.PD-KHOM, who is also the Chair of the Indonesian AIDS Society (Masyarakat Peduli AIDS Indonesia), said “we recognize that ICAAP is the second largest AIDS forum in the world and are grateful for the confidence in Indonesia to host this
important meeting. We are inspired by the decision and will work hard to assure that the congress activities will advance regional efforts to respond effectively to the challenge of HIV and AIDS today and in the future.”

Mr. JVR Prasada Rao, Director, Regional Support Team, Asia and the Pacific, Joint United Nations
Program on AIDS (UNAIDS), added, “the 9th ICAAP promises to be an even better and bigger conference
than previous ICAAPs. There will be evidence-based discussion on whether Universal Access can be an
achievable goal by 2010 for many countries in Asia and the Pacific. Every facet of the epidemic and the
region’s responses are featured in the wide array of session and activities.”

The congress will take place at the Bali International Convention Centre (BICC) in Nusa Dua, and is
scheduled to be officially opened on 9 August by the President of the Republic of Indonesia, Mr. Susilo
Bambang Yudhoyono, in a ceremony at the Garuda Wisnu Kencana (GWK) Cultural Park.

ICAAP is a biennial gathering for the release and discussion of scientific, programmatic and policy
developments in the global response to HIV/AIDS and is convened by AIDS Society of Asia and the Pacific (ASAP).

In his message to the 9th ICAAP, Professor Myung-Hwan Cho, President of ASAP said that
“Indonesia has been given the opportunity to take bold and innovative steps n support of the regional
response to HIV and AIDS. Countries of Asia and other regions will be waiting to see Indonesia take the lead.”

According to the Independent Commission on AIDS in Asia (2008), AIDS remains the most likely cause of
death and loss of work days among people aged 15 to 44. The number of people living with HIV (PLHIV) in Asia in 2007 is an estimated 5 million, with a number of new infections (380,000) comparatively speaking equal to the number of people who died from AIDS-related illnesses (380,000). In Oceania an estimated 740,000 people were living with HIV in 2007 of which 13,000 were new infections.

Reaching the Millennium Development Goals (MDGs) on HIV and AIDS requires all member countries to
halt and reverse the spread of the epidemic by 2015; this includes the Universal Access target of 2010 whereby all those who need treatment should also receive it, and the urgency to strengthen each country’s health system to ensure effective delivery of services and response.

Mr Rao continued, “what is really impressive is that the conference will showcase the immense progress
made by community groups, working together and in partnership with government and other partners, in
spearheading the response in many countries in the Asia Pacific region.”

Similar to previous ICAAPs, sessions will be divided into Plenary Sessions where distinguished
researchers, community leaders and policy specialists share the latest information and experiences; 24 symposia on topics such as addressing legal barriers and criminalization of at-risk populations, and a leadership session for delegates from the Pacific region; 64 oral sessions on topics related to prevention, care support and treatment of HIV and AIDS, understanding socio-cultural, economic and political determinants in the AIDS response, and on leadership.

Besides these, 32 skills-building workshops will also be held to help delegates improve various skills that
can apply to their daily work; Satellite Meetings and Exhibitions showcase the efforts of civil society and the private sector in the response to HIV and AIDS.
Distinguished guest speakers will include Michel Sidibe, UNAIDS Executive Director; Michel Kazatchkine, Director of the Global Fund for AIDS, TB and Malaria (GFATM); Kyung-Wha Kang, UN Deputy High Commissioner for Human Rights; Dr Nafiz Sadik, Special Envoy for AIDS in Asia and the Pacific; Myung Hwan Cho, President of AIDS Society of Asia and Pacific (ASAP) and representatives from Seven Sisters, Asia Pacific Network of People Living with HIV (APN+), Asia Pacific Network of Sex Workers (APNSW), CARAM Asia, Asian Harm Reduction Network (AHRN), APCASO, APN Rainbow.

A Community Forum will also take place before the congress on 7–8 August, where various communities
each have their own conference to identify and share common issues and experiences. Seven
communities will be represented including people living with HIV (PLHIV); Injecting Drug Users (IDU);
Interfaith; Men who have sex with Men (MSM) and Transgender; Sex Workers; Women, including
Lesbians; and Youth.

The Asia-Pacific Village will be a friendly, fun and colorful venue to celebrate the region’s diversity, with arts and music performances, small group discussions, informal education activities, and regional stalls selling handicrafts and snacks made by people living with and affected by HIV and AIDS.

The Asia-Pacific Village will be open to the general public. Prior to the official opening ceremony on 9 August, a high-level meeting of AIDS Ambassadors will be held, co-hosted by the First Lady and National AIDS Ambassador, Mrs. Ani Bambang Yudhoyono, and AIDS Ambassador of Australia, Murray Proctor. The AIDS Ambassador’s Meeting will address the role of AIDS Ambassadors in the region in mobilizing greater action and accountability for the response.

For more information, please contact:
Ika Nazaruddin
Pacto Convex
Ph 62-21 571-9973
Ika_nazar@cbn.net.id
Elis Widen
Congress Coordinator
Ph 62-21 571-9973
elis.widen@icaap9.org
Ristya Paramita
Public Information Officer
Ph. 62-21-39838845/46
ristya.paramita@icaap9.org