Background:
The effing show is one of three digital tv programs produced by Popfolio Sdn Bhd. Their charter is to engage with young Malaysians to help create a far more democratic media space. Rather than being reduced to mere consumers, we’d like to see young Malaysians create their own media experience. We do this by collaborating with creative producers to develop individual shows. PopTeeVee provides the resources to create and distribute this programming. This separation between platform and creativity will hopefully help create a more engaging media experience.

The episode:
Humorous opinion on the BN MP from Sekijang’s recent disertation claiming that 33% of Malaysian men are gay and wants to start rehabilitation centers for these men. Guess he thinks lesbians are ok, the perv!

In doing the due diligence for starting a family with my partner, I was curious to find out what Islam stance on infertility processes such as IVF or artificial insemination. What I found is rather abysmal.

A 1980 Sunni fatwa came out shortly after the first test tube baby, Louisa Brown, was born in 1978, forbidding any form of Assisted Reproductive Technologies (ART). However since the 1990s, a rash of fatwas made some ART accessible and permissible for married couple with infertility issues. These fatwas still serve as the foundation of Sunni ruling around ART up to today.

A highlight summary of the rulings include:
- Gamete (third party) ART including surrogacy, egg and sperm donation are not allowed. As no third party are allowed to intrude into the marital functions of sex and procreation, since marriage is a contract between the wife and husband during the span of their marriage, no third party donor is allowed, whether the donor is providing sperm, eggs, embryos, or a uterus. The use of a third party is tantamount to zina, or adultery.
- In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) and Artificial Insemination (AI) with the wife’s egg and husband’s sperm are permissible.
- Women should not expose themselves to male staff for treatment
- Husbands cannot masturbate to get sperm for infertility treatment
- Children born out of third party donor are considered illegitimate or worse, the rightful children of the donating party e.g. the man who donated the sperm or the woman who donated the uterus, egg or embryos.
- A muslim should be cautious of the fertility clinics motivation and procedures to avoid using the wrong sperm or eggs/embryos.

For more fun-filled details of other fatwa-sanctioned ART rights, read Making muslim babies: IVF and gamete donation in Sunni vs. Shi’a Islam: Marcia C. Inhorn 2006.

The end sum of options for people facing infertility issues as far as I can tell are as follows:

For a married man and wife who has to go through IVF to conceive:
1. As long as the sperm belongs to the husband, the egg and uterus belongs to the wife, the wife does not expose her aurat (See Hijab laws) to non-muhrims, husband does not masturbate to get his sperm out, the process is halal i.e. sanctioned.

For a woman with an infertile husband:
1. divorce the husband and find a fertile spouse
2. foster a child
3. be patient as God knows best

For a man with an infertile wife:
1. Marry (up to 3) other fertile wife
2. foster a child
3. be patient as God knows best

For a single person who has no desire to marry
1. get married to a fertile spouse and get divorced after the child is born, otherwise known as a mut’a wedding i.e. fake wedding to fulfill the religious obligations of finding sexual fulfilment or having children through marriage. Note: Mut’a is typically a Shi’a practice. Malaysian muslims are majority Sunnis.
2. foster a child

For a gay couple
1. forget about fostering a child, you and your spouse are going to hell

Granted, the basis for these rulings is well meaning. The aim is to keep the family line unambiguously defined and to protect one’s lineage. The intent is to protect future complications with relationships e.g. avoiding incestuous siblings/parent-child relationships should lineage be unknown.

Hence, a muslim wife retains her family name to “maintain the link between her and her parents and ascendants” and marriage is the only legitimate way to have children and most interestingly, muslims do not adopt children as much as foster them. I will cover adoption in islam in another article.

In breaking down the lineage argument, when a husband has a wife who is infertile, he is allowed to marry up to 3 other wives assuming they are fertile and have children with these other wives because the lineage of the child undoubtedly belongs to the husband.

When a wife has an infertile husband, using a third party sperm donor is tantamount to zina even when there is no sex involved because technically the child’s lineage belongs to the sperm donor and the wife.

For a single man trying to have a baby through a surrogate mother, this course is also considered zina. Furthermore, the ruling on children born out of wedlock is that the man has no parental rights over the child that is if the uterus donor and man are not married, only the biological mother has the rights to the child. (See Sunni Forum: Out of Wedlock Child) The ruling however runs counter to the protection of lineage and I am assuming is designed to punish the adulterers by denying parental attributions to the biological father.

For a single woman trying to have a baby via a sperm donor, unless the woman marries the sperm donor in a mut’a wedding or otherwise, the baby will be considered illegitimate and the act of impregnation is considered zina. According to law with illegitimate children, the sperm donor has no parental rights and the baby will be attributed to the woman, i.e. the baby is given the mother’s name as oppose to the biological father’s name.

Interestingly, Shi’a has a different view on ART where gamete donation is permissible as long as the infertile parents abide by the religious codes regarding parenting according to a late 1990 fatwa issued by Ayatollah Khamanei of Iran. However, the child of the egg or sperm donor has the right to inherit from the donor themselves, as the infertile woman or man are considered to be like adoptive parents as opposed to actual parents. The child is allowed to have the name of the infertile father. Specifically, in regards to sperm donation, the child born of sperm donation get to have the name of the infertile father instead of the sperm donor. However, the child can only inherit from his biological father, the sperm donor, since the infertile father is considered to be like an adoptive father.

Equally fascinating is IVF views in Judaism. 3rd party gamete donation including sperm is allowed as “Jewishness is conferred through the mother particularly through the act of gestating and birthing the baby.” In other words, lineage or Jewishness passed along through the biological mother instead of the father. In addition, conservative rabbis prefer non-Jewish donor as means of preventing future possible genetic incest. The Jewish state is quite pronatalist in that IVF is not only permissible for single career women and lesbian Jewish mothers but the procedure is often subsidized by the state. Another interesting fact is to ensure correct sperm/eggs implantation, maschigots i.e. “orthodox Jewish women” would preside over IVF procedures.

The fact of the matter is fertility clinics and sperm banks have improved leaps and bounds over the years where careful background and health screening is done through each sperm, egg or uterus donor. Many fertility clinics make potential parents go through therapy counseling and some require the couple to have counseling sessions with the potential donors if known. Most conscientious sperm banks have family limits for each sperm donor irrespective of successful pregnancy. Many banks have identity release programs designed to allow the child to find out the identity of the sperm donor after a certain age. Others even set up sibling catalogs to ensure couples get the same sperm source for consequential children.

I had a friend asked me once why I bothered going through the therapy sessions, paying thousands of dollars out of pocket to find a sperm donor and go through artificial insemination when I can easily just get a guy to sleep with me for less money or even free. After mentally punching this friend in the face, my simple answer was because I respect and love my partner that I will not “divorce” her to marry some guy to bear a child with, that I will not commit adultery with another person when I am committed to my spouse, and that I want her to be a part of the process as much as I will be.

Personally, though some percentage of the child’s biological origin may come from another source, we both believe that the child that we hope to conceive will be 100% our child. This child will be result of both our hard work in going through the process of ART, pregnancy and child rearing. The fact the child has some biological origin not from my partner is of minute emotional consequence. I am alarmed and a little sadden that the religion I was born into, place paternal lineage high above over love and fidelity of a relationship. I hope that the religious authority continue to have discussions on ART and come up with better rulings for couples with infertility issues, single parents and (I dare dream) gay couples.

Source: KL world & Sinchew Daily.

Full Article in Mandarin

On 7/30/2011, “Thomas”, 29 years old, and Apple, 27 had the distinction of being the first Malaysian lesbian couple to have their marriage publicized in two Malaysian newspapers, Sinchew Daily and The Star.

According to Sinchew, they were married in full traditional Chinese wedding ceremony complete with a roast pig offering to their ancestors. The wedding banquet were thrown for approximately 400 relatives and friends.

Thomas and Apple are both in the real estate business had dated for more than two years before deciding to tie the knot.

Johnson, the couple’s spokesperson at the wedding remarked “The couple, as any other couple truly in love, should be able to marry, have a proper wedding & banquet to celebrate their happiness with their friends & family.”

Support the couple by liking their facebook page

TiltedWorld applauds the newspaper and the journalist for covering the event in a positive light.

PRI’s the World’s talks about the Malaysian anti gay camp where effeminate young boys are encouraged to enroll in masculinity training camp as a premptive attempt to prevent them from growing up gay or transexual.

66 13-17 year old boys are currently engaged in such a camp right now. These kids were picked by their teachers based on their effeminate behavior.

These masculinity training camps are not new to Malaysia. The camps have always existed especially in higher education institutions. Gay activists in Malaysia are now afraid of the impact on the psychology of the children since the authorities are targeting a younger age group.

Whole article along with the mp3 file:

http://www.theworld.org/2011/04/malaysias-anti-gay-camp/

Frankly I am flabbergasted especially by the purported article written by a psychologist blaming effeminate behavior on parents who make boys do household chores meant for girls or dressing boys up in feminine clothing. Are Malaysian especially children not allowed to have any personalities anymore?
Everyone needs to come out of a heteronormal behavioral cast?

Are we seriously going to allow religious authorities or governmental entities to dictate personality and demeanor?

Shame on us.

Everyone deserves to be respected for who they are. I pledge to spread this message to my friends, family and neighbors. I’ll speak up against hate and intolerance whenever I see it, at school and at work. I’ll provide hope for lesbian, gay, bi, trans and other bullied teens by letting them know that “It Gets Better.”

That is the introductory paragraph that one is greeted by on the It Gets Better website. It is a pledge that all of us should take up and not only for the GLBT community but for those who are oppressed and discriminated against.

The most important step you should make, though, is to have self-respect.  You need to know that to accept yourself and love yourself as who you are and what you are is the first important big step to facing intolerance, bigotry or ignorance.  Overcoming other obstacles is easier when you know yourself worth.  People will know how real you are as a person regardless of your gender or sexual preference when you know this fact yourself.

I believe that is part of the message conveyed by our very own Gab  in her Its Get Better submission.

Please view and please be inspired to spread the message of love and tolerance.

Direct Link: Its Get Better by Yong Wei

Cross-posted from Yuki’s Box Of Chocolates.

Yesterday, I featured a post on the biased and childish reporting from Harian Metro, which includes name-calling trans woman, “pondan”, 9 times, and tried to brush trans people with negative stereotypes. It is universally understood by everyone in the civilized world that morality and character has nothing to do with a person’s gender identity, yet Harian Metro attempted to correlate trans woman-hood, with cognitive sinister motives. Such blatant act of demonization deserves nothing but scorn. However, The Star shows how to do a proper report: just explain the situation without insulting people with derogatory words, and report on the news without attempting to single out and demonize any groups of people:

KUALA LUMPUR: A college student’s indecent act in front of a webcam has come back to haunt him three years later.

The 22-year-old from Sarawak, identified only as Chong, said he befriended a man, in his 30s, in an online chat room during his first year in a college here.

“He wanted me to teach him how to masturbate and show him how to do it,” he said. Chong masturbated in front of a webcam so that the man, known as Melvin, could see how it was done.

“But I did not know he recorded it and on March 14, he sent me a message asking me to have sex with him.

“He threatened to upload the recording on the Internet and asked for RM200 after I rejected his request for sex,” he told a press conference organised by the MCA Public Services and Complaints Bureau here yesterday.

Chong said Melvin came to his house to collect the money. “He showed up again after two weeks and asked for more money,” he said, adding that he banked RM250 into Melvin’s account.

Chong said he did not lodge a police report or tell anyone about the recording and extortion as he was not sure what to do.

He decided to seek the help of bureau head Datuk Michael Chong because he was afraid that Melvin will continue asking for money.

When asked why he did what Melvin asked, Chong said he was naive and trusted people easily.

He said he stopped communicating with Melvin and did not reply to his messages after the masturbating incident because he felt something was not right.

Michael said last year, his bureau received five reports relating to online sex video clips and extortion.

He said five victims lost a total of RM570,000 to extortionists.

Early this year, a man was forced to pay RM4,600 to a woman who had his naked photos, he added.

Both men’s sexual orientation were never objectified and not sensationalized. The words “gay” and “homosexual” were never used. The same situation between a man and a woman was mentioned, showing the reality of the situation, and the truth that immoral behaviour or criminal activities are not exclusive to any sexual orientation or gender identity. This is the journalistic integrity that separates tabloids like Harian Metro with newspapers like The Star. Now, what we hope to see from The Star is consistency, as they resorted to tabloid style reporting before, or allow junk news to creep into its papers.

On Harian Metro, the character assassination on trans people as done by them can be honestly called what they are: hate speech that will explode into societal genocide if not checked. And Harian Metro’s often published discriminatory rants against trans people, places them as the leaders in creating an environment of potential hate crimes against human beings whose only disturbance in society, is to be born in a gender different from their sex. Something needs to be done to counter the utter disrespect Harian Metro shows to the trans community in Malaysia. Violent reported deaths of trans woman every year, worldwide, and the many more that are not reported, gives us a sad reminder of what such hatred can do.

Some are your friends. Some are your families. Wise up, Harian Metro. Is this what you want?

Cross-posted from Yuki’s Box Of Chocolates.

Try not to press here. Tabloid news. Do not give them more hits than they deserve. But I will bring to your attention this article that does nothing but attempt to again demonize an entire transsexual community and brushing them with stereotypes. I shall substitute every mention of “pondan” with penulis Harian Metro and “mak nyah” with penulis tabloid to make a point them.

BATU PAHAT: Dari luar dia nampak lembut dan bersopan-santun. Namun, perwatakan itu langsung tidak menggambarkan kezaliman seorang penulis Harian Metro berusia 29 tahun terhadap seorang gadis lembam yang dikurung dan ‘diperdagangkan’ kepada lelaki hidung belang selama sebulan.

Malah, penulis tabloid terbabit sering mengancam dan memukul remaja berusia 19 tahun itu jika enggan melayan nafsu pelanggan yang bertandang ke rumahnya di Taman Soga di sini dengan bayaran RM100.

Hasil perbuatan tidak berperikemanusiaan terhadap remaja itu, penulis tabloid berkenaan yang juga seorang pak andam menggelarkan dirinya Abang Mustapha meraih pendapatan lebih RM2,000 sebulan.

Bagaimanapun, kegiatan jahat penulis Harian Metro itu dapat dihidu keluarga gadis berkenaan yang mencarinya di sekitar bandar ini sejak sebulan lalu.

Ketua Polis Daerah, Asisten Komisioner Ibrahim Mohd Aris, berkata pengalaman hitam mangsa bermula apabila pak andam terbabit bertemu remaja berkenaan di Dataran Penggaram di sini, pada malam 3 Mac lalu.

Dalam pertemuan itu, penulis tabloid terbabit memancing mangsa dengan perwatakan baiknya sebelum mempelawa remaja itu tinggal bersamanya. Dia turut mengambil hati gadis OKU itu dengan membelikan pakaian baru.

Menurutnya, sebaik mangsa tinggal di rumah itu, dia tidak dibenarkan keluar rumah dan diancam akan dipukul jika cuba melarikan diri.

“Sejak itu, mangsa dipaksa melayan nafsu lelaki yang datang ke rumah berkenaan dan jika enggan dia akan dibelasah,” katanya.

Menurut Ibrahim, kegiatan tidak berperikemanusiaan menjadikan gadis OKU sebagai hamba seks oleh penulis Harian Metro berkenaan akhirnya terbongkar apabila sepupu mangsa yang menyamar sebagai pelanggan menemuinya.

Katanya, sepupu gadis OKU itu memaklumkan perbuatan kejam penulis tabloid terbabit kepada keluarga mangsa sebelum melaporkan kepada polis.

Ibrahim berkata, penulis Harian Metro terbabit yang panik selepas menyedari kegiatannya dihidu pihak berkuasa cuba membuat laporan di Balai Polis Senggarang kononnya dia dipukul abang mangsa namun diberkas memberkas penulis Harian Metro terbabit ketika dia mahu membuat laporan polis.

Katanya, siasatan awal polis mendapati penulis tabloid berkenaan mempunyai beberapa rekod jenayah lampau termasuk mengikut Seksyen 292 Kanun Keseksaan kerana menjual bahan lucah serta Seksyen 325 iaitu menyebabkan kecederaan parah.

“Polis menyerbu rumah suspek dan hasil pemeriksaan menjumpai beberapa kondom sudah diguna di beberapa tempat, selain wang tunai RM2,247 dalam laci milik penulis Harian Metro terbabit yang dipercayai hasil melacurkan OKU berkenaan.

“Selain berdepan tindakan mengikut Seksyen 324 Kanun Keseksaan kerana kesalahan mencederakan seseorang menggunakan senjata, penulis Harian Metro itu juga berdepan dakwaan terbabit dalam aktiviti persundalan mengikut Seksyen 372A kanun sama.

“Malah, dia juga berdepan dakwaan mengikut Seksyen 377b Kanun Keseksaan (seks luar tabii), Seksyen 347 Kanun Keseksaan kerana melakukan pengurungan salah dan Seksyen 292A Kanun Keseksaan kerana memiliki 20 klip video lucah.

“Kejadian itu mendorong polis untuk mengambil tindakan tegas terhadap penulis Harian Metro di bandar ini selepas mendapati ada antara mereka bertindak melampaui batas,” katanya.

(changes made and emphasis added; translation may be needed for foreign readers)

That amounts, to nine mention of pondans, and six mention of mak nyahs. And bear in mind, pondan is a derogatory word, and this story uses it 9 times. Can we see their sexist mentality?

Usually in such reporting, professionalism requires the writer to simply mark the person as just that, the person or the suspect or “orang” to avoid targetting any specific group of people. Just imagine how bad things would be if we replace “pondan” with Kristian, and “mak nyah” with penganut; or worse, both with m*****. But of course, Harian Metro is the tabloid for sperm brains who love sensational news and their target market is people with third world mentality. We of course would not expect any professionalism from them. However, such purposeful demonization of transsexuals should be scrutinized to the bone, especially when dealing with an already misunderstood community. Looking at the size of their hypothalamus, I would not be surprised that their avid readers are filmakers Raja Azmi Raja Sulaiman and “Dr” Rozmey (see previous post). Only ignorant minds would resort to such parroting of all trash ideas and news.

The Faggiest Vampire — A children's story

With eye-catching book titles such as the above, Carlton Mellick III’s books may not always be available on our shores — that is, if anyone at customs caught what the title means — but that really shouldn’t stop you from trying to get your hands on a copy. Certainly, other titles by the author like The Haunted Vagina are more unlikely to be stocked in Kinokuniya. Would anyone like to check?

Anyhow, if you’d like to know more about The Faggiest Vampire, here’s a book overview:

Deep in The Land of Broodsarrow, just outside the village of Gneirwil, and high on a cliff overlooking the Everbleed Sea, there stands the faggiest gothic castle that any mortal being has ever seen. Living in this ancient faggy castle is none other than the well-renowned vampire, Dargoth Van Gloomfang.

The citizenry of Broodsarrow sure has its share of faggy vampires, but old Dargoth has always been by far the faggiest of them all. That is, until a new vampire came to town. A younger, hippper vampire. One that emits such a grand amount of fagginess that one cannot help but be completely overwhelmed by his presence.

Now Dargoth Van Gloomfang must figure out a way to out-shine this young newcomer if he wishes to ever reclaim his throne as . . . the faggiest vampire.

Will it be politically correct? Definitely not la. This book has all the humour Anne Rice lacks for her very sexual vampires. For those who’d like this delivered to their doorsteps, it is available for online purchase from Amazon (USD$9.95, but you have to pay for shipping), and Book Depository (USD$11.19, but shipping worldwide for free).

More links for Carlton Mellick III stuff:

List of The Faggiest Vampire reviews on Google Books

Official website

Candy-coated, on Vice Magazine

Cross-posted from Yuki’s Box Of Chocolates:

I do apologize for not writing much these days, as I have quite a number of things on my mind. However, something propped up last week in my-email that I feel needs to be addressed. Slightly reversing the decision by the Information, Communications and Culture Ministry last year that bans depictions of rempits and trans people (I still do not get the connection between violent motorcyclists and decent human beings with a medical condition), local filmmakers can now depict homosexuality and trans people IF the film ends with sad or tragic consequences to homosexual persons or trans people.

I am very thrilled that my acts of going to work, singing Karaoke with my friends, sleeping, watching movies and enjoying music are considered “immoral activities” by some quarters that I need to repent from. I am also sure that some of my friends would be excited that their loving relationships with their partners is considered nothing but a “culture” that may damage moral values of other people, and people need protection from some insane influence to turn heterosexuals to homosexuals (as if it is ever possible).

Not.

I absolutely do not get any relevance from movies that are based on nothing by idle speculation and lazy guessing into the life of a trans woman, like “…(Anu) dalam botol” for example. I would not even say poorly researched; it is pure fictional fantasy (I can imagine no research was done for “2Alam” either). I do not magically wish to “transform” into a woman to please anyone. If my partner is homosexual, he would find that gross because he wants a man, not a woman. I would not even regret getting the operation done if I have the chance, and if I do stumble upon a loving girl, then we would have a decent lesbian relationship, a kind of partnership that is recognized as the most low risk group for HIV/AIDS infection. By the way I do not even like sex. And I am not a “transvestite”.

So, this is plain misinformation, miscommunication and a counter-culture move to allow demonization of people like me. I have totally no regrets being who I am and am proud to be finally be living, not as who Raja Azmi Raja Sulaiman’s thinks I am or I should be. I shall die in pride that though my life is difficult thanks to ignorant and deceitful people like these so-called filmmakers, at least I live as the woman I truly am. These hate-mongering, rumour spreading and lie parroting heterosexists like “Dr” Rozmey may be getting the hype they want. But if any in the trans community of Malaysia commits suicide or are murdered due to the climate of prejudice, misunderstanding, intolerance and discrimination these “filmmakers” create, my sisters’ blood is surely on their hands.

The biggest LGBT rights rally in America since the commencement of Obama’s administration. Read more on CNN. Enjoy the photos!

Yours truly at the White House.

Say, Malaysians, when are you going to speak up?