In Response to Paul O’s “Building Bricks”

Posted on 14 October 2008 by Gabrielle Chong Yong Wei

Comparing the success rates of heterosexual relationship with homosexual ones is like comparing the commercial successes of football with that of jeet kun do.

Almost all heterosexual relationships, especially heterosexual families, are buttressed by the bastions of peer and family support, fiercely guarded by the institutions of law (in most countries) and (conservative) religion, and reaffirmed by the current (but changing) moral-cultural zeitgeist, which in turn fortifies the aforementioned factors that perpetuate the heterosexual relationship as the archetype romantic/sexual relationship. The same cannot be said of homosexual relationships.

All relationships are not without challenges, but homosexual couples often have to make do without the social-cultural bulwarks which uphold heterosexual relationships through thick and thin. Thus, it isn’t a surprise that homosexual couples are more susceptible to crumbling in times of adversity compared to their heterosexual counterparts.

Those “homophobic naysayers” are not unlike the fatalistic schoolteachers who take a dim view of the potential of some of their pupils. Not only are they harden in their belief that their subjects will not succeed, they also drum their message into their subjects that their subjects WILL fail. Of course, some of their more vulnerable subjects eventually take heed of the message. In the end, these “homophobic naysayers” become self-fulfilling prophets. They sow the seeds they want to see (or think will see), and when the plants grow eventually, they point towards the plants and justify their belief in the inevitability of the plants.

Having said that, there are many successful homosexual relationships out there, which thrive despite the negativity that surrounds them. All committed, lasting relationships, heterosexual or otherwise, are internally founded upon and fortified by love, which is more powerful than any external legal-political/socio-cultural obstacle in the world.

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Building Bricks

Posted on 13 October 2008 by Paul

Homophobic naysayers claim that gay relationships can’t stand the test of time. Certainly one of the numerous brickbats used to assail the already shaky institution of gay marriage.

As much as I’d love to rail against such a unfair accusation, it’s getting pretty hard to deny the evidence. In the space of at least six months, I’ve seen quite a number of supposedly sturdy relationships crumble and fall under the veriest whiff of a storm. As a statistic in comparison with our breeder brothers, it’s starting to look really bad.

Drunk
Time to raze the building!
So why do we fail?

Maybe it’s the fact that most of us can be pretty sophomoric in our search for love. Let’s face it, when it comes to relationships, we’re still kids. Our straight brethren might have worked through their rampant teenage hormones with furtive high school gropes way before their early twenties but for some of us gay men - in our thirties even - we’re just beginning to troll the bars in search of that elusive thing called love. Men just out of the proverbial closet with the dating mores of a horny impatient post-adolescent at a dating buffet.

Is it any wonder that we find ourselves splitting up and getting back together as often as the fickle schoolgirls in Gossip Girl do? With quite as little permanence?

Just like those teenagers we abandon our relationships far too easily - giving up on the entire structure at the first sign of adversity. Thinking back, I must have done pretty much the same as well. We expect that solid stone castle to appear magically at the snap of our fingers without even putting in a single hard day’s work building the proper foundation. Then just one stone out of place, a squeaky door, a broken window - and we’re rushing in with sticks of dynamite to demolish the place.

But just like any brick-and-mortar building, a relationship needs daily upkeep, the occasional renovation and lots of TLC to keep from crumbling to dust.

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Was Same-Sex Marriage a Christian rite?

Posted on 28 September 2008 by jiahuilee

by ThosPayne

from: http://www.colfaxrecord.com/detail/91429.html

A Kiev art museum contains a curious icon from St. Catherine’s Monastery on Mt. Sinai in Israel. It shows two robed Christian saints. Between them is a traditional Roman ‘pronubus’ (a best man), overseeing a wedding. The pronubus is Christ. The married couple are both men.

Is the icon suggesting that a gay “wedding” is being sanctified by Christ himself? The idea seems shocking. But the full answer comes from other early Christian sources about the two men featured in the icon, St. Sergius and St. Bacchus, two Roman soldiers who were Christian martyrs. These two officers in the Roman army incurred the anger of Emperor Maximian when they were exposed as ‘secret Christians’ by refusing to enter a pagan temple. Both were sent to Syria circa 303 CE where Bacchus is thought to have died while being flogged. Sergius survived torture but was later beheaded. Legend says that Bacchus appeared to the dying Sergius as an angel, telling him to be brave because they would soon be reunited in heaven.

While the pairing of saints, particularly in the early Christian church, was not unusual, the association of these two men was regarded as particularly intimate. Severus, the Patriarch of Antioch (AD 512 - 518) explained that, “we should not separate in speech they [Sergius and Bacchus] who were joined in life”. This is not a case of simple “adelphopoiia.” In the definitive 10th century account of their lives, St. Sergius is openly celebrated as the “sweet companion and lover” of St. Bacchus. Sergius and Bacchus’s close relationship has led many modern scholars to believe they were lovers. But the most compelling evidence for this view is that the oldest text of their martyrology, written in New Testament Greek describes them as “erastai,” or “lovers”. In other words, they were a male homosexual couple. Their orientation and relationship was not only acknowledged, but it was fully accepted and celebrated by the early Christian church, which was far more tolerant than it is today.

Contrary to myth, Christianity’s concept of marriage has not been set in stone since the days of Christ, but has constantly evolved as a concept and ritual.

Prof. John Boswell, the late Chairman of Yale University’s history department, discovered that in addition to heterosexual marriage ceremonies in ancient Christian church liturgical documents, there were also ceremonies called the “Office of Same-Sex Union” (10th and 11th century), and the “Order for Uniting Two Men” (11th and 12th century).

These church rites had all the symbols of a heterosexual marriage: the whole community gathered in a church, a blessing of the couple before the altar was conducted with their right hands joined, holy vows were exchanged, a priest officiatied in the taking of the Eucharist and a wedding feast for the guests was celebrated afterwards. These elements all appear in contemporary illustrations of the holy union of the Byzantine Warrior-Emperor, Basil the First (867-886 CE) and his companion John.

Such same gender Christian sanctified unions also took place in Ireland in the late 12thand/ early 13th century, as the chronicler Gerald of Wales (‘Geraldus Cambrensis’) recorded.

Same-sex unions in pre-modern Europe list in great detail some same gender ceremonies found in ancient church liturgical documents. One Greek 13th century rite, “Order for Solemn Same-Sex Union”, invoked St. Serge and St. Bacchus, and called on God to “vouchsafe unto these, Thy servants [N and N], the grace to love one another and to abide without hate and not be the cause of scandal all the days of their lives, with the help of the Holy Mother of God, and all Thy saints”. The ceremony concludes: “And they shall kiss the Holy Gospel and each other, and it shall be concluded”.

Another 14th century Serbian Slavonic “Office of the Same Sex Union”, uniting two men or two women, had the couple lay their right hands on the Gospel while having a crucifix placed in their left hands. After kissing the Gospel, the couple were then required to kiss each other, after which the priest, having raised up the Eucharist, would give them both communion.

Records of Christian same sex unions have been discovered in such diverse archives as those in the Vatican, in St. Petersburg, in Paris, in Istanbul and in the Sinai, covering a thousand-years from the 8th to the 18th century.

The Dominican missionary and Prior, Jacques Goar (1601-1653), includes such ceremonies in a printed collection of Greek Orthodox prayer books, “Euchologion Sive Rituale Graecorum Complectens Ritus Et Ordines Divinae Liturgiae” (Paris, 1667).

While homosexuality was technically illegal from late Roman times, homophobic writings didn’t appear in Western Europe until the late 14th century. Even then, church-consecrated same sex unions continued to take place.

At St. John Lateran in Rome (traditionally the Pope’s parish church) in 1578, as many as thirteen same-gender couples were joined during a high Mass and with the cooperation of the Vatican clergy, “taking communion together, using the same nuptial Scripture, after which they slept and ate together” according to a contemporary report. Another woman to woman union is recorded in Dalmatia in the 18th century.

Prof. Boswell’s academic study is so well researched and documented that it poses fundamental questions for both modern church leaders and heterosexual Christians about their own modern attitudes towards homosexuality.

For the Church to ignore the evidence in its own archives would be cowardly and deceptive. The evidence convincingly shows that what the modern church claims has always been its unchanging attitude towards homosexuality is, in fact, nothing of the sort.

It proves that for the last two millennia, in parish churches and cathedrals throughout Christendom, from Ireland to Istanbul and even in the heart of Rome itself, homosexual relationships were accepted as valid expressions of a God-given love and committment to another person, a love that could be celebrated, honored and blessed, through the Eucharist in the name of, and in the presence of, Jesus Christ.

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Womyn+Sexuality+Movie+Bike+Art Weekend

Posted on 20 September 2008 by Gabrielle Chong Yong Wei

Dear feminist, supporters of feminism, sexually liberated people, free spirits, bike lovers, movie junkies, art lovers, and everyone else, greetings!

Food Not Bombs Kuala Lumpur will be organizing a number of things this weekend, starting from friday evening. So get ready to crash and camp at rumah FNB!

FRIDAY (19 Sept)
Bicycle Workshop by Mario

We have a new friend, Mario, who is in KL for short visit. He is from California and has lots of experience in conducting community bicycle workshops. He will be sharing some of his experiences, teaching and sharing some valuable bicycle knowledge with you. So bring along your bicycle(s) and tools. The workshop starts at 6.30 pm.

FRIDAY & SATURDAY (19 & 20 Sept)
Feminist Movie Night

After the bicycle workshop, we will start with the movies. Yay!
These are some of the movies/documentaries which will be screened on both Friday and Saturday evening.

A Jihad For Love (81 mins)

A documentary on gay, lesbian, and transgender Muslims across the Muslim and Western worlds directed by Parvez Sharma.

Incredibly True Adventure Of Two Girls In Love (94 mins)
An adventurous love story between two young women of different social and economic backgrounds who find themselves going through all the typical struggles of a new romance. The movie is written and directed by Maria Maggenti.

Bandit Queen (119 mins)
Film based upon the life of Phoolan Devi by Shekhar Kapur.

Itty Bitty Titty Committee (86 mins)
High School grad and all American gal, Anna finds her purpose and herself after she hooks up with the radical feminists in The Itty Bitty Titty Committee.

Libertarias (125 mins)
At the outbreak of the Spanish Civil War, the nun Maria is forced to flee her convent. She takes refuge in a brothel, until it is liberated by a woman’s anarchist group. Maria joins the group and eventually goes to the front. The women’s group faces the problems of fighting not only the nationalists, but also factions on the left seeking to impose a more traditional military structure.

Bread And Roses (110 mins)
Two Latina sisters work as cleaners in a downtown office building, and fight for the right to unionize.

Persepolis (96 mins)
Poignant coming-of-age story of a precocious and outspoken young Iranian girl that begins during the Islamic Revolution.

The order will be decided on Friday and Saturday. The only way to find out which movie/docu will go first is to come and watch it.
Bring your movies or docus on feminism or sexuality, will show it if they look more interesting.

Movies will start at 8pm on Friday and 4pm on Saturday.
If you can draw a line, then you are qualified for this. We have lots of plain bland cream walls, so we wanna make them pretty and colourful and artsy. Bring your paints, spray cans or whatever to help “decorate”. No exact time. Come whenever you feel like it!

SUNDAY (21 Sept)
Tabling

We will start cooking at around 2pm at the house. Feel free to join us. Help chop, cook, clean, and make noise.

FRIDAY & SATURDAY
Mural painting/wall scribbling/art making/spray painting/conteng-conteng

Since we will be hanging around at the house watching movie and stuff, feel free to bring along food so that it can be shared with everyone. Potluck. We hope to see you at the house this Friday, Saturday and Sunday. If you need more info, you can visit www.fnbkl.blogspot.com, e-mail Thilaga  (thilaga.sulathireh@gmail.com) or call the house at 03-7955 094.

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Milk

Posted on 17 September 2008 by Alex

Milk” is a new movie about gay right fighter Harvey Milk - who was the first openly gay man to be elected to public office in the United States.

Milk

Milk

Watch the trailer here.

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Seksualiti Merdeka - The First LGBT-themed Festival In Malaysia

Posted on 18 August 2008 by Gabrielle Chong Yong Wei

Fri 29 Aug to Sun 31 Aug

The Annexe Gallery’s inaugural three-day series of forums, workshops, storytelling sessions and film screenings devoted to the theme of sexuality rights in Malaysia.

Seksualiti Merdeka will take place on 29, 30 & 31 August in conjunction with our Merdeka celebrations to address the fact that 51 years after independence, not all Malaysians are free to be who they are. Many of us are proud productive citizens of the country, yet we live double lives, pretending to be somebody we are not; fearful we may lose our jobs, our families, our lives, the moment someone finds out who we truly love. It is time to ask, why this has to be. Cause, as the song says, if one of us ain’t free, none of us are free.

Seksualiti Merdeka will be held in conjunction with ART FOR GRABS, the popular Annexe art bazaar, as well as INVENTING MALAYSIA, an exhibition, series of lectures and screenings of pre-Merdeka films shot in Malaya by foreigners, curated by Dr Farish A Noor and TheOtherMalaysia.

FRI 29 AUG

Seksualiti Merdeka Opening Event
8pm - 10.30pm: Film: “Comolot” by Mohd Ikram Ismail, “Pangyau” by Amir Muhammad and “Arisan” by Nia Dinata. (Gallery 1, 2nd Floor)

SAT 30 AUG

12pm - 2pm: Forum: To Live Without Fear – Dealing with violence against transsexuals (Gallery 4, 1st Floor)
3pm - 5pm: Forum: Probing Sexualities – Recent research into sexual diversity in Malaysia (Gallery 4, 1st Floor)
6pm - 7.30pm: Lecture: Psychology of Homophobia – Find out if you fit the profile (Gallery 4, 1st Floor)
8.30pm - 10.30pm: Storytelling: Heartbreakers Anonymous – Featuring Jit Murad, Dara (of Air-Con) and others (Gallery 1, 2nd Floor)

SUN 31 AUG

12pm - 2pm: Lecture: From Panji To The Present – A short history of sexuality in Malaysia and South East Asia by Dr Farish A Noor (Gallery 5, 1st Floor)
3pm - 5pm: Workshop: Tongues Out – Borak-borak on our sexuality landscapes (Gallery 4, 1st Floor)
6pm - 7pm: Malaysian Artists For Diversity with Ning Baizura, Ida Nerina and more. If you are a Malaysian artist(e) and would like to voice your support or dedicate a song to the community, please contact us! (Gallery 1, 2nd Floor)

FREE ADMISSION TO ALL EVENTS!

PLEASE INVITE FRIENDS AND LOVED ONES WHO ARE SUPPORTIVE. MERDEKA! MERDEKA! MERDEKA!

Contact: pang@annexegallery.com

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Think Again | Stop AIDS

Posted on 15 August 2008 by ana_a

By Legolas. You can view his blog at http://legolas80.blogspot.com/

HIV is on the rise, not only in the US, the UK, but also Malaysia. The doctors from hospitals knew, the anonymous screening at Pink Triangle Foundation shows, those people with HIV can tell. There is no statistics recorded with real numbers and cold evidence because the government couldn’t care less. They don’t recognize the problem’s source because they keep their eyes shut to homosexuality, even if they knew we exist. They’re more interested in money, power and coming up with silly thoughts.

How many of us had unprotected sex before? How many times you think you can be lucky and get away with it? 5 times? 10 times? No, it takes only 1 time. 1 time of fun and then a lifetime of pain. You say you trusted your partner. How sure are you? You can only be 100% sure if you are with him 24/7. It doesn’t mean you don’t trust your partner when you want to have protection, it means you love yourself. And like they always say, you have to love yourself before you can love other people. If your partner left you because of that, he didn’t love you at all, and he’s definitely worthless.

Who is going to protect yourself better than your own self? Don’t be so ignorant about HIV because no matter how good the medication nowadays have advanced, there is still no cure to HIV, after 27 years since it was first discovered. Don’t engage in unprotected sex no matter how much you trust your sexual partner. Learn and understand about AIDS and HIV. Get yourself tested every 6 months, even if you didn’t have sex because there is a possibility you might get it from other ways.

Don’t put yourself and the people you love in danger. The next time you want to have unprotected sex, think again. It takes only 1 time. Treasure your life and love yourself more.

HIV on Wikipedia

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Love is Love

Posted on 12 August 2008 by choirboy13

Growing up as a gay male wasn’t always a terrible thing for me. The only struggle I ever faced was the fight within my own frame of mind. No one was bothered about who I liked (sexually) or whether I was straight (or not). Occasionally, in my teens and even in my early adulthood, people would ask me the “are you gay?” question – a question I always brilliantly found a way to answer with another question, leaving everyone even more curious. I always answered in a manner that would not arouse suspicion. I guess that was how I allowed people to just ignore who I am and let me live how I want.

The excitement in my life came when I started trying to ignore my homosexuality. I remind myself of those people we sometimes contentiously call “ex-gays” – gays who don’t want to be gay. I went through that phase for a while. I blame it on the warnings I got from “biblical prohibition” on gay behavior. I come from a somewhat liberal yet devoted Christian family. It haunted me. It made me shy away from accepting who I really was, until I realized one day that religion should help people accept themselves,and not doubt whoever and whatever they are.

I was one of those who got influenced for a while with the whole concept of heteronormativity. Deep inside I knew I was gay, but at times I had to conform to the things that were deemed acceptable socially. It caused me to feel uncomfortable sometimes, but it certainly made me stronger, eventually.

I struggled for a while. I wanted to be myself and totally let go, but I couldn’t. I wanted to love freely, but I was afraid of what would happen.

Then things turned around when I attended a talk in some church. A question on homosexuality was posed. I turned from a sleepy participant to one wide awake, eager to hear how the speaker, an old priest, was going to answer the question: “Is homosexuality something really that unacceptable?”

I smiled. Finally… something interesting.

The reply from the priest shocked me. This old, mumbly priest replied with a very sweet smile:
“Look at it this way – love is love. Sometimes homosexuals can show a kind of love that is even purer than the kind of love straight people have. Straight couples fight and quarrel. So do homosexuals. Love is love; who is to say who you can or cannot fall in love with? Sometimes homosexuals can teach us a thing or two about love, because they may sometimes be more affectionate than the rest of us.”

I almost wanted to shout a loud “Amen!” but thought I’d just keep to myself.

Love is love. Who in the world has the right to tell you what kind of person you must fall in love with?

I began to love myself more. And because of that, I can express my love outwardly better. Love is love.

You see, even though homosexuals suffer from derisive jokes and have to endure annoying labels of all sorts, we do know what love feels like. Being gay is just another way of being.

 

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Gay Little Self

Posted on 11 August 2008 by John Ong

Voice Comment: (206) 888-JOHN

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 6 or above) is required to play this audio clip. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.


:: download file ::

Duration: 35:04 | 16.5 MB | Mono |

I’m scaling down. In more ways than one. Instead of telling you about my opinion about China, how the West look at China, and all the big issues, I’m telling you a very personal story about my growing up, being a little gay boy.

Gay Little Self

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Dangerous Precedent May Be Set

Posted on 08 August 2008 by jiahuilee

Developing Article:

Going by yesterday’s court proceedings of the sodomy charge on Anwar Ibrahim, and his lawyers’ interpretation of Section 377B of the Penal Code, the Malaysian court is charging Anwar for consensual anal intercourse. Although Section 377B does not explicitly specify if the sexual act “against the order of nature” had to be consensual or non-consensual, the fact remains that Anwar was initially charged under Section 377C, which specifies “committing carnal intercourse against the order of nature without consent”. The charge was then altered to under Section 377B, which contains the word “voluntarily”, suggesting that the anal intercourse between Anwar and Saiful (if it did take place) was consensual.

This means that Malaysia may very well see a significant proportion of its citizens being sent to prison for 20 years. It also means that both heterosexual and gay couples who are guilty of partaking in anal sex can be imprisoned and whipped for their acts. Let it be reminded that anal sex is not performed just between men, but also between men and women.

When a letter campaign began the night after Saiful lodged a police report against Anwar for being sodomised, the worry was that it wasn’t clear if the act was consensual or forced. All acts, sexual or non-sexual, forced upon another individual should be condemned. There were pertinent discussions which reached a consensus; there will be no support for a criminal charge against Anwar if, and only if, the act was consensual.

Prosecution of a person for an act shared willingly and voluntarily between two people is an infringement upon their privacy and preferences. The judiciary should not have the purview of determining an individual’s sexual preference, as long as the act does not violate the freedoms and rights of another individual.

If, and only time will tell, Anwar is being charged and sentenced for consensual anal sex with Saiful, it will set a precedent that may be exploited to discriminate against the LGBT community, specifically gay couples who partake in anal intercourse. There must be clarification on the part of the judiciary, as we will see and demand once trial begins, if the charge on Anwar is for consensual or non-consensual sex.

Besides, the court cannot charge a single individual for consensual sex. This point raises the question about the case of Saiful, who faces no sodomy charge. Unless the prosecution can prove that Anwar had forcefully sodomised Saiful, the evidence they have collected to date will only point – at most – at consensual intercourse. And as mentioned above, charging and imprisoning anyone for consensual anal sex is tantamount to outlawing the sexual practises of many gay and heterosexual partners. If this is already not discriminatory against a certain group of people, it is a direct infringement of privacy and individual rights.

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