“I want people to understand that doing the right thing often does more harm than good. The standard of normal that we aim for is imaginary. People don’t fail to meet the definition of normal gender, but the definitions fail to meet the people. Being born without a vagina was not my problem. Having to get one was the real problem. My “sexual dysfunction” posed less of a threat to my health than the parts of the Syndrome that disabled me. So why is a vagina all I was given to cope with a much greater loss?”

- Tobias K. Davis

Last night, I attended a cold reading of The Naked I, a play in two acts written by Tobias K. Davis as an alternative to the Vagina Monologues, which assumes the stable identity of being female. In Naked, Tobias takes the idea of sex and gender beyond the binary, exploring the voices of transgenders, transexuals, cisgenders, and other gender-variant identities.

* * * * * *

I stumbled into the meeting, panting from a sprint. I thought I was late. I walked in the lounge expecting to see familiar faces but I found out I almost didn’t know anyone who was there. A cap hit me on the waist and fell to the floor. I bent down to pick it up and looked for the owner.

“Hey,” said someone. I saw a guy. A girl. Neither. Either. “What’s your name?” he asked.

“Ummm…” I tentatively gave him my name. “I’m Justin.” His handshake was more ‘man’ than mine.

Introductions soon began. We went around the circle. “I’m Mickey. And I prefer the pronouns he/him/his.”

“Jenny. Ze or male pronouns…”

“Eliza. Female pronouns, she, her, hers.”

As the night went on, we read monologues and short plays from Davis’ work. The reading slowly went into discussing the relevance of the characters to our personal lives. I wasn’t straight. But I think I wasn’t a tranny, too. So I kept quiet and listened.

“I’ve had enough of people calling me ’she’, so I decided if I took T (testosterone), people would start calling me ‘he’.”

“I’ve always been happy about my body, you know, never regretted anything. I mean, yeah, there are some things I’d like to change, but I don’t know, like, I don’t want to change something I’ll regret. It’s just easier to be either man or woman. Right now, I’m both.”

“Today, looking back, I wouldn’t have taken T. I mean, I don’t regret it - but you should dictate what you want to be to the world and not let the world dictate what you are. Now, I walk into a male bathroom and no one bats an eye - it’s something I enjoy - but you know, sometimes, it’s better to be happy with who you are.”

“I wish everyone was like children. They’re so receptive. The 30 year old woman I used the date, well, she’s a single mom, and her 6 year old would always ask me why everyone calls me ’she’ when I’m a boy. Like I mean, I’ve been screwing with her mom. And she knows it but everyone else doesn’t.”

“When I had a boyfriend, he would tell me all about the male bathroom etiquette.”

He kept looking my way while he was explaining the male bathroom etiquette. I finally spoke. “Really? I never knew there was such a thing. No wonder when I said Hi to the guy standing next to me, he gave me a dirty look.”

Last night, I visited St. Luke’s and St. Margaret’s church for the memorial service of Rita Hester, a transgendered member of the community, who was killed 10 years ago. After listening to several speakers who represent various intersections and sections of the community, we walked in the -5 degrees Celsius night carrying candles. We arrived at a plaza, grouped into a circle and started reading the names of those who died this year due to hate crimes.

This year, we remembered (re-member - put them together again in our memories, our visions, and our hopes) Kellie Telesford of Thornton Heath, UK, Brian McGlothin of Cincinnati, Gabriela Alejandra Albornoz of Santiago, Chile, Patrick Murphy of Albuquerque, Stacy Brown of Baltimore, Adolphus Simmons of Charleston, Fedra of Kota Kinabalu, Malaysia, Ashley Sweeney of Detroit, Sanesha Stewart of the Bronx, Lawrence King of Oxnard, CA, Simmie Williams Jr. of Fort Lauderdale, Luna of Lisbon, Portugal, Lloyd Nixon of West Palm Beach, Felicia Melton-Smyth of Porta Vallarta, Mexico, Silvana Berisha of Hamburg, Germany, Ebony Whitaker of Memphis, Rosa Pazos of Sevilla, Spain, Juan Carlos Aucalle Coronel of Lombardi, Italy, Angie Zapata of Greeley, CO, Jaylynn L. Namauu of Makiki Honolulu, HI, Samantha Rangel Brandau of Milan, Italy, Nakhia Williams of Louisville, Ruby Molina of Sacramento, Aimee Wilcoxson of Aurora, CO, Duanna Johnson of Memphis, Dilek Ince of Ankara, Turkey, Teish Cannon of Syracuse, Ali of Iraq, and all the other trans women and men around the world who lost their lives to transphobia this year, whose faces we never saw and names we never heard, because they were living on the margins of societies who did not respect nor want them.

(Note: The list of names were taken from Melissa McEwan’s blog, Teaspoon by Teaspoon. She was present last night at the vigil with this to say: “Social justice work is like trying to empty the ocean with a teaspoon. But with enough teaspoons and enough time, we will empty it. Each of you have a teaspoon with you. Each of you, by coming here tonight, has chosen to empty that ocean of anger and hate one teaspoon at a time.”)

Dear all,

A bunch of us will be organizing a screening/vigil in conjunction with the Remembrance of Transgender Day.

Following are the details:

Date : 22nd Nov 2008, Saturday
Time : 8.00 pm
Venue : Bau Bau Cafe, Mezzanine Floor, Annexe Central Market
Movie :
A Jihad for Love (81 mins)
A documentary on gay, lesbian, and transgender Muslims across the Muslim and Western worlds.

back up
TransAmerica (103 mins)
A pre-operative male-to-female transsexual takes an unexpected journey when she learns that she fathered a son, now a teenage runaway hustling on the streets of New York.

Why are we celebrating the Remembrance of Transgender Day?

To memorialize those who were killed due to anti-transgender hatred or prejudice. Although not every person represented during the Day of Remembrance self-identified as transgender, each was a victim of violence based on bias against transgender people. It raises public awareness of hate crimes against transgender people, an action that current media doesn’t perform. Day of Remembrance publicly mourns and honors the lives of transgender people who might otherwise be forgotten. Through the vigil, we express love and respect in the face of national indifference and hatred.

On average two transgender people are murdered each month, according to global figures. This year alone 26 transgender people were killed. Out of the 26 recorded murders this year all were brutally violent, apart from one person who died by drowning – a pattern which has repeated over the past ten years and 245 murders. In the Middle East and some parts of Asia and India murders are still rife and often they’re committed by law officials so the deaths are not recorded.

And also to put an end to all sorts of discrimination/hatred/violence against people due to their sexual orientation or identity.

If you have any questions or queries, please do not hesitate to email me. (I do entertain hate mails as well.)

p/s: please bring your own candles.

We are a collective with no name so please bear with us.

Thank you to Bau Bau Cafe for the venue and Amnesty International for the projector. I think this is also supported by Tilted World and Cinta itu Buta.

I was trying to get out of the Federal Highway that night. I was definitely not comfortable having over half a dozen motorbikes chasing after me. They were kicking my car as it slowly negotiated a temporary jam. Sensing danger I tried to call the police, but my hand phone fell and in the darkness my left hand frantically tried to find it. One of the riders then removed a helmet and crashed it against my door. I was a helpless tortoise target.

Then as the minor jam clears I saw a path to the expressway. I quickly turned into it. They were not supposed to be at the Federal Highway, they were supposed to be at their motorcycle lanes, I thought. But the police cannot stop these “rempit” menace, but then the police likes calling people like me a menace. I sped to the toll booth, and then enter the expressway. I ran at 170 kilometers an hour. The gang of motorcyclists soon vanished behind me. My car light was smashed. The right side of my car dented and there were scratches.

I was targeted by this group who kept on yelling derogatory names as I entered my car after dinner at an Indian-Muslim restaurant. I ignored them as I rushed in. They came with their bikes after me. I am a transsexual female. They are a transphobic motorbike gang. They have every intention of beating the hell out of me. If I died that night, police would just treat me as “john” doe. There would be no reports unless someone noticed I had gone missing and found my body. I may survive, but with an experience that will haunt me.

But I remember. And I am fortunate to still be alive to remember what happened. And I remember those who did not have this opportunity. Because they are dead. They are victims of hate crime and violence. Many have died, and many deaths go unreported because our lives are just not worth the time. But as we all grow and begin to show our faces to society, along with our lives and dreams, people will surely remember our lives.

And we will remember our dead. Today is the Trangender Day Of Remembrance 2008.

Tilted World, remembers.

Amnesty International Malaysia will organize Special Film Screenings’ in conjunction with “16 Days of activism Against Gender Violence”. Details of the event:

Date: 29th November 2008 (Saturday)

Adress: Amnesty International Malaysia Office, A-3-3A, 8 Avenue, Section 8, Petaling Jaya

The ‘16 Days of Activism Against Gender Violence’ is an international campaign originating from the first Women’s Global Leadership Institute in 1991. Participants chose the dates, between 25 November - International Day Against Violence Against Women and 10 December - International Human Rights Day, in order to symbolically link violence against women and human rights and to emphasize that such violence is a violation of human rights. This 16-day period also highlights other significant dates including 29 November -  International Women Human Rights Defenders Day, 1 December - World AIDS Day, and 6 December - Anniversary of Montreal Massacre. During these days individuals and groups around the world unitedly demand the elimination of all forms of violence against women by:

-raising awareness about gender-based violence as a human rights issue

-strengthening local work around violence against women

-establishing a clear link between local and international work to end violence against women

-providing a forum to develop and share new and effective strategies

-demonstrating solidarity of women around the world united against violence against women

-creating tools to pressure governments to implement promises made to eliminate violence against women

Voice Comment: (206) 338-ONG-9

:: download file :: listen on iPhone ::

Duration: 26:18 | 24.5 MB | Stereo |

Along with over 300 people, I attended the Kansas City’s own Fight the H8 rally. I chatted with many people and asking them why was it important that they are out there in the cold to be in this rally.

This will be one of the top issues of my life to fight for the right that was taken away from me simply because I’m gay. Yes, this is personal. You won’t stop hearing from me.

Listen to the audio podcast by clicking “play” on the audio player above.

 

The theme for this year is ‘Soaring the Spirit of Friendship’

The theme emphasizes the importance of strengthening friendship through participation and interaction among all participants.

TSG2008KL aims to set new standards with more countries participating, better sports events and social activities:

- Sports competed are Badminton, Bowling, Volleyball, Squash and Tennis
- Welcome Reception and Ice-breaking activities
- Gala Dinner & Awards Nite
- Tie-in with leading a Gay clubbing event organizers

BACKGROUND OF TSG

The Straits Games or popularly known as TSG started as an annual sports event between 2 community groups from Malaysia and Singapore to foster friendship and promote a healthy lifestyle in our communities.

The success of TSG has generated encouraging participation from other Asian countries; Thailand, Hong Kong, Japan, and Taiwan.

The countries participating in TSG2008KL are Malaysia, Singapore, Hong Kong, Taiwan, Thailand and the Philippines.

For more information, please visit http://www.mylpg.net/tsg/intro.htm

Dear feminist, supporters of feminism, sexually liberated people, free spirits, bike lovers, movie junkies, art lovers, and everyone else, greetings!

Food Not Bombs Kuala Lumpur will be organizing a number of things this weekend, starting from friday evening. So get ready to crash and camp at rumah FNB!

FRIDAY (19 Sept)
Bicycle Workshop by Mario
We have a new friend, Mario, who is in KL for short visit. He is from California and has lots of experience in conducting community bicycle workshops. He will be sharing some of his experiences, teaching and sharing some valuable bicycle knowledge with you. So bring along your bicycle(s) and tools. The workshop starts at 6.30 pm.

FRIDAY & SATURDAY (19 & 20 Sept)
Feminist Movie Night
After the bicycle workshop, we will start with the movies. Yay!
These are some of the movies/documentaries which will be screened on both Friday and Saturday evening.

A Jihad For Love (81 mins)
A documentary on gay, lesbian, and transgender Muslims across the Muslim and Western worlds directed by Parvez Sharma.

Incredibly True Adventure Of Two Girls In Love (94 mins)
An adventurous love story between two young women of different social and economic backgrounds who find themselves going through all the typical struggles of a new romance. The movie is written and directed by Maria Maggenti.

Bandit Queen (119 mins)
Film based upon the life of Phoolan Devi by Shekhar Kapur.

Itty Bitty Titty Committee (86 mins)
High School grad and all American gal, Anna finds her purpose and herself after she hooks up with the radical feminists in The Itty Bitty Titty Committee.

Libertarias (125 mins)
At the outbreak of the Spanish Civil War, the nun Maria is forced to flee her convent. She takes refuge in a brothel, until it is liberated by a woman’s anarchist group. Maria joins the group and eventually goes to the front. The women’s group faces the problems of fighting not only the nationalists, but also factions on the left seeking to impose a more traditional military structure.

Bread And Roses (110 mins)
Two Latina sisters work as cleaners in a downtown office building, and fight for the right to unionize.

Persepolis (96 mins)
Poignant coming-of-age story of a precocious and outspoken young Iranian girl that begins during the Islamic Revolution.

The order will be decided on Friday and Saturday. The only way to find out which movie/docu will go first is to come and watch it.
Bring your movies or docus on feminism or sexuality, will show it if they look more interesting.

Movies will start at 8pm on Friday and 4pm on Saturday.
If you can draw a line, then you are qualified for this. We have lots of plain bland cream walls, so we wanna make them pretty and colourful and artsy. Bring your paints, spray cans or whatever to help “decorate”. No exact time. Come whenever you feel like it!

SUNDAY (21 Sept)
Tabling
We will start cooking at around 2pm at the house. Feel free to join us. Help chop, cook, clean, and make noise.

FRIDAY & SATURDAY
Mural painting/wall scribbling/art making/spray painting/conteng-conteng

Since we will be hanging around at the house watching movie and stuff, feel free to bring along food so that it can be shared with everyone. Potluck. We hope to see you at the house this Friday, Saturday and Sunday. If you need more info, you can visit www.fnbkl.blogspot.com, e-mail Thilaga  (thilaga.sulathireh@gmail.com) or call the house at 03-7955 094.

At approximately 9pm, the documentary by Poh Si Teng entitled “Pecah Lobang”, was finally aired at the studio within the Annexe Gallery at Central Market, during the Freedom Film Fest last Saturday. Touching mostly on the life and times of Muslim transsexual sex workers at the Chow Kit area, it drawn a crowd of 200 plus people inside. Besides the cast and crew of the documentary, notable attendees include members of the Legal Aids Centre, the PT Foundation crew including trans activist Ms Sulatri Ariffin and a surprise visitor who is a renowned transsexual advocate from Singapore, Ms Leona Lo.

The documentary as we have known, focused on the life of transsexual and sex worker Natasha, and other transsexuals’ turbulent living environment. The failed job hunts, family rejection and society’s ill-treatment of transsexuals was implied within the documentary as been caused by the ban on sex change surgeries in the early 1980’s upon the release of a “fatwa”. It displayed several verses from the Quran that were used to condemn transsexuals, and several profiled cases of transsexual discrimination. It also featured thoughts from several notable personalities including Dr Teh Yik Koon and Ms Sulastri Ariffin.

While the whole documentary was well meant to highlight the plight of the transsexual sex workers of Chow Kit, I felt I was watching somewhat a docu-movie prequel to the movie “Bukak Api”, which also outlined the problems faced by the transsexual sex workers community. “Pecah Lobang” went straight into several strong comments in defense of transsexuals and their lives, to touching overtures of statements that seemed to be asking for empathy from the audience. And it sadly played to stereotypes.

For instance, the continuous notion replayed throughout this documentary (it may be accidental) that transsexuals are prone to sex work, and on the streets even. It takes for granted that there is a community of transsexual sex workers that are not plying their trade on the streets, but as call girls in international escort websites, where the big cash is from the expats and foreign visitors. Also, there was a total lack of healthy transsexual role models shown, which would have placed a balanced positive view on transsexuals.

Also missing, was the lack of clarity on what is a transsexual with a transvestite, both under the umbrella term of transgender, as a segment focused on the recent case of transgenders arrested in Kelantan who were involved at a beauty pageant. I find it very unfortunate that the causes of transsexuality, from the chromosomal, biological and psychological circumstances especially recent research on the neuron count within limbic nucleus of the brain of transsexuals, were never mentioned. Instead the documentary presented viewers with the overused “they are human beings, they do not choose this life” mantra.

As for the reference of the religion of Islam used to create an atmosphere of rejection towards transsexuals, I respectfully disagree to some level. It is the cultural upbringing of the members of society that failed to distinguish gender from sex, along with the media toying with mak nyahs as jokes and comedy, as was seen in TV shows such as “Scenario”. Last month, “Gerak Khas” on RTM depicted transsexuals as sexed-up, campy and ill-mannered, while being a sex workers and also a drug pushers. It is these misrepresentations by the media that causes untrained minds to validate their prejudices.

And it is by these ill-founded dogmas that people resort to use religion as justifications for their bigotry against transsexuals and this not only includes Islam, but also Christianity. “Pecah Lobang” highlights only a fragment of the community; but other transsexuals, those who are well-adjusted in society to those who are struggling not to fall down the sex work trap hole, may feel themselves stigmatized by a public labeling all transsexuals as sex-workers. Perception is a dangerous element; as well intentioned this documentary is, it may infringe the safe space of transsexuals who do not wish for sex work.

During the comments session after the viewing of “Pecah Lobang”, I was disappointed with some of the members of the audience who seemingly questioned Ms Poh Si Teng for doing the movie in the guise of “well-mannered talk”. One question that came to mind was whether she is using the movie in a way of promoting human rights as to making the wrong, right. I would have told the gentleman, there is nothing wrong with simply existing without harming others. These were also other questions Ms Teng seemed to have difficulty in answering, which explains the countless “I do not know”’s she used.

It would note however, with all of this film’s shortcomings, I believe Ms Teng was very courageous to go out on her own way to do this movie. She had said that she is not a filmaker, rather a journalist, so I do admit I am sad that the issue of transsexuals was poorly researched by her. But this could be a good starting point for more openness in talks about transsexuals, and Ms Teng at 24, will learn in time. As a member of the Legal Aids Centre commented, she only scratched the surface of the transsexuality issues. But, this could be a start of more things to come, positive ones hopefully, for our community.

Working silently against the tide of prejudice and discrimination towards the LGBT community in Malaysia, the Good Samaritan Fellowship (GSF) was established back in August 2007 after the Metropolitan Community Church (MCC) envoy represented by Reverend Ou Yang Wen Feng stated its intention of opening the first all inclusive church in this country. Even though that was the time for the community to stand up and be counted, many were held back.

This was due to the attempts to hijack the people of the LGBT community in order to “change” them by ex-gay ministries taking advantage of the new public discourse on homosexuality, the total rejection of the idea by Christian groups such as the National Evangelical Christian Fellowship (NECF) calling the very existence of the same-sex attracted person as “incompatible with Christ”, and the backlash from some government officials. They seemed to have totally lost the plot with their dogmatic refusal at acknowledgment of a church that accepts diversity as created by God, when it is still the same church that many have known to praise and worship Christ in His sanctuary.

Against the establishment fueled by bigotry and total lack of understanding towards the LGBT community, the church was formed and closeted from the Malaysian public. This safe zone for Christian LGBTs was then steadily growing quietly, from its first gathering in October 2007, to the blessing for its senior pastor in March 2008 by the representative from the MCC, to its opening of sanctuary doors at the end of July this year. The Good Samaritan Fellowship (GSF) have certainly come a long way.

The GSF is now finally out as a safe house for the Christian LGBTs and anyone who wishes to worship God without the pride and prejudice that usually organized churches bring. And everyone is cordially invited to celebrate the first year landmark of its journey at the GSF 1st Anniversary Fund Raising dinner on Saturday the 13th of September 2008 at Passion Road Restaurant. More details below:

GSF 1st Anniversary CALL FOR LOVE!
Fund Raising for “Good Samaritan Fellowship”
Location: Passion Road Restaurant.
Time: 7pm
Date: 13-09-2008
Tickets: RM 100

Contact:
(GSF) Pastor Joe: 018-219-5551 (http://www.mygoodsamaritans.blogspot.com)

(Passion Road) Travis: 03-2166-7111 (passions@streamyx.com)

There will be performances and lucky draw.

But most of all let us give support to this church for it to be the light of the world in the darkness of misunderstanding and misrepresentation of homosexuals and transgenders, for our community to move forward progressively for society to realize our existence are as human as anyone in this world.