Probably among some of our most common questions, “Where is the Toilet?” or “Encik, errr, kat mana tandas?”, may be questions that take somewhat longer to answer for some people. If there’s any sort of structure that reinforces the simplistic dichotomy between vagina and penis, woman and man, female and male, it’s the public toilet. If there’s any sort of way you can see how society dictates what is yes and no, it’s the smelly hancing tandas awam in schools, petrol stations, shopping complex, and in the parks.

Because you either enter the bathroom of your dictated gender or face the barrage of curses/screams/beatings from the users of the toilets. And that is a problem, isn’t it?

I’m no stranger when it comes to ignoring socially-agreed symbols on the doors of the toilet. I’ve lost count as to how many times I’ve walked into the women’s bathroom. I usually get shocked faces, rude remarks, and just a stare down. Brrrr. Cold! I had only wanted to use the bathroom – and I should have every right to choose. Seeing penises (penii?) being flopped out shamelessly over an urinal isn’t something I thoroughly enjoy. (Btw, don’t you think it’s odd that “male” toilets have urinals which speed up the peeing time, when what’s needed is to provide more cubicles in “female” bathrooms to cut the lines?)

Unfortunately, society seems quite hung up on making sure I used the toilet I’m ONLY supposed to. I don’t mind. But it’s not the same case for many people.

What if I identified as a woman? Why should other people decide who I am? Why can’t I use the toilet I’m comfortable with?

The door signs are already indicating that the toilets discriminates by what you wear (dress, no dress?) – but what does it mean? People who dress with a dress enter the one with the door sign of a person in a dress? How about people who should dress in a dress but don’t want to?

Door signs are tricky. They blur the lines between sex and gender. No one’s sure if you’re not allowed in a women’s bathroom because you don’t “look” womanly, or because you’re not woman. But then again, what is a woman? Simone de Beauvoir said something like “One is not born a woman. One becomes a woman.” What does she mean?

Ironically enough, public toilets started out being unisex and communal. We peeed together. Shat with each other over a chat about what public execution was coming up in the square next week (this was during the 1300-1400s). Both men and women.

It’s only in the mid-19th century that women’s groups began demanding for more public female spaces that toilets became gender-specific.

Probably relevant at the time, as the public sphere was only a man’s space, the toilets were divided and signs were assigned. Women got their own private space within the public male space.

However, such a move continued today only perpetuates and affirms the dichotomy between man and woman/male and female. Perhaps it’s time to call back our old gender-neutral bathrooms?

Most universities in Northern America have begun building and installing gender-neutral bathrooms, which not only provides for equal non-discriminatory access to transgenders but also to seniors and disabled – who may need someone of any sex to accompany them. And if i hear groups shouting for the safety of women and children in gender-neutral toilets, it’s probably useful to know that a sign on a door that says “Women” isn’t going to stop a predator from entering. FYI, the danger being in a gender-specific bathroom is actually more or equal to being in a gender-neutral one.

Gender-neutral bathrooms are nice because they don’t discriminate. And they don’t tell people how to act or dress in order to be able to pee comfortably. No one should tell me how I tinkle my sprinkle. Gender becomes a non-issue. Wherever you are on the spectrum, you’re welcomed.

How’s that for a New Year’s Resolution?

For more info relating to activist work pertaining the need for gender-neutral/all-gender bathrooms, consult: Peeing in Peace, a Resource Guide for Transgender Allies and Activists, a publication by the Transgender Law Center, San Francisco.