“So where’d you meet your current other half that seems permanently and awkwardly attached to the side of your left thigh?”
“We’re not that clingy, but I digress. Try guessing!”
“Huh. What, did your eyes meet across… wossname, a crowded room?”
“Cheesy lah you. No.”
“Nosy matchmaker friends?”
“Shouldn’t it be obvious by now? The Internet!”
Fridae: one of the most popular gay dating websites in Asia (picture courtesy of WikiCommons)
Oh, yes. In this day and age where technology is completely dominating our lives down to the smallest details and one is rarely seen without a few gadgets on hand (at least the one – the mobile phone!), meeting and dating people over the Internet is in.
I didn’t actually have the aforementioned conversation with any of my friends per se (just dated a few casually, here and there, maybe a few meetings, yanno), but the very fact that I was on several lesbian/gay networking social websites raised more than just a few eyebrows when I told my acquaintances about Fridae, Purplelab.net and the likes.
People certainly have heard of online dating, but given the large number of online marriages that’ve been increasing exponentially as of late, it was usually associated with heterosexual couples without much focus on the LGBT community – for those who didn’t know of the LGBT sites, that is.
With the existence of these LGBT social websites and especially those that cater specifically to certain demographics (Purplelab for womyn, Trevvy for men, etc.), it’s easier to browse profiles of countless others online (even by area, for some websites) to meet potential dates while keeping the undesirable and The-Ones-I-Wouldn’t-Approach-Even-With-A-24-Foot-Pole at bay.
Dating someone over the Internet or even just meeting a girl online isn’t viewed with as much skepticism anymore, nowadays, to be honest. More and more people are actually becoming more open to the idea of meeting people online – in fact, rather than as a last resort, online dating has become somewhat… of a first resort. In other words, people are actually flocking to these sites to socialise and meet people and dates of their choice – and especially their Type, at times.
One of the reasons why the gay/lesbian scene is expanding even more as it is is thanks to the marvel that is the Internet, anyhow. With a click of a mouse, the loading of a webpage, checking out Facebook – events are becoming more and more accessible, and a lot more people in the community are finding out about the scene which they’d actually assumed was nonexistent prior to their discovery of the community. A lot of lesbian girls I talked to, especially those who’d just gotten out of high school and/or are freshmen/sophomores in university didn’t even KNOW there was a scene or that there were that many members of the community locally.
I do get that dodgy look, of course, when I say I met a date online. My friends narrow their eyes at me and suddenly say in hushed whispers, “How do you know she’s not some… serial killer?! Or some member of the mafia? What if she’s secretly married to so-and-so and is just playing you like a toy? Surely you deserve better!”
The usual concerns with Internet dating, yes. But a lot of these people are very much real – and with the really small lesbian dating puddle in Kuala Lumpur, you’ll find before long that your date probably has more than just a few friends in common with you and that a few of your social circles overlap. Perhaps, that is. It’s getting much easier to upload photos and videos nowadays, though, so a lot of these fears are somewhat alleviated.
Someone I know who advocates online dating replied sarcastically to the serial killer comment with, “Sure, and so the men some of these women follow home at a bar – total strangers, mind you! – after conversation over a vodka shot or two couldn’t ever be serial killers, eh?” She has a point, really. There’re risks everywhere, but the number of relationships that’ve spawned from e-meetings really have grown – and a lot of these people are happily committed couples, who couldn’t ask for more in the world.
Me? I enjoy it. Aren’t some of us just rather picky about the kind of people we like or are attracted to? Some like their women witty; some like them shy, or sweet. Some like them fiercely passionate, vocal and outspoken – some go for the cool, dorky types.
You never know either, really, whether someone outside of your Type will prove to be your greatest One True Love or at least a very enjoyable companion for the period of time you’re dating her. Life is full of surprises. But going online and checking out these profiles certainly narrows down the search – and it always helps when you find someone who has things in common with you and shares a particular hobby of yours that could help you bond, et al.
So, honestly? It’s all very unpredictable. But since the Internet’s growing to become something in our lives that’s never really going to go away (and certainly not anytime soon!), best make the most of it.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be a-getting back to my green tea and chatting up that hot bespectacled girl who just messaged me on Fridae…