Homophobic naysayers claim that gay relationships can’t stand the test of time. Certainly one of the numerous brickbats used to assail the already shaky institution of gay marriage.

As much as I’d love to rail against such a unfair accusation, it’s getting pretty hard to deny the evidence. In the space of at least six months, I’ve seen quite a number of supposedly sturdy relationships crumble and fall under the veriest whiff of a storm. As a statistic in comparison with our breeder brothers, it’s starting to look really bad.

Time to raze the building!
So why do we fail?

Maybe it’s the fact that most of us can be pretty sophomoric in our search for love. Let’s face it, when it comes to relationships, we’re still kids. Our straight brethren might have worked through their rampant teenage hormones with furtive high school gropes way before their early twenties but for some of us gay men - in our thirties even - we’re just beginning to troll the bars in search of that elusive thing called love. Men just out of the proverbial closet with the dating mores of a horny impatient post-adolescent at a dating buffet.

Is it any wonder that we find ourselves splitting up and getting back together as often as the fickle schoolgirls in Gossip Girl do? With quite as little permanence?

Just like those teenagers we abandon our relationships far too easily - giving up on the entire structure at the first sign of adversity. Thinking back, I must have done pretty much the same as well. We expect that solid stone castle to appear magically at the snap of our fingers without even putting in a single hard day’s work building the proper foundation. Then just one stone out of place, a squeaky door, a broken window - and we’re rushing in with sticks of dynamite to demolish the place.

But just like any brick-and-mortar building, a relationship needs daily upkeep, the occasional renovation and lots of TLC to keep from crumbling to dust.