Have you ever heard of a man named Edmund Smith? Have you ever heard of his group called Real Love Ministry (RLM)? I would like to draw your attention to the most vocal, most amateurish ex-gay ministry in Malaysia, especially because of the recent additions to his blog site which runs in total contradiction to what he is doing towards the homosexual and even the transgender community.
Edmund presents the sermon called “Stop Pretending”.
But Edmund, while admitting that sexual orientation is inborn, still wants you to choose to act out heterosexually.
First, as most of you intellectual girls and guys would have known since you are born, homosexuality is something innate in you. Something that is not changeable. Secondly, you would have known by now that there is certainly no need to lie to yourself (and grief the Holy Spirit, if you are a Christian) by pretending to be someone you are not and exercise behavioral modification to suit any standards of heterosexuality thrown at you; because you are normal. Decades of strong peer previewed research concluded that.
Compelling new evidences of inborn traits of homosexuals and transgenders may have surfaced for the past few years. Yet many LGBTs are still deceived and confused by these medically rejected practices which began more than 25 years ago in the United States. The target audiences of ex-gay ministries have changed to the friends and families of LGBTs during the past decade, in the attempt to coerce the community into religiously motivated submission by peers and relations grounded specifically on “traditional values”.
Ex-gay ministries, losing their foothold in the States because of the rise of information technology since the 80s, stepped foot into the conservative Asian market during the 90s, with many eager listeners of their dogmatic views lining up to justify their own personal prejudices by way of the Bible and discrimination based on the myth that the LGBT community can but stubbornly refuse to “change” from their “immoral ways”.
What ex-gay ministries like RLM would want you to believe is that you can, should and need to “change” your sexual orientation to heterosexuality or at least act out straight. And they would go all ways to prove that. Now honestly, Edmund Smith’s RLM would go around parroting the usual twists and turns of the truth in regards to homosexuality and transgenderism, and loves to double talk between the churches and the LGBT community, but even he actually admitted that nothing is changed and that you are to lie to yourself “for a season OR for a lifetime”.
Let us say you are born left handed. By the right (literally) of religion, you are to use your right hand. After struggling for years and found out you are just unable to do so, they ask you to not exercise the use of your left hand. So in the end you have one able left hand you never use and the other right hand that is without coordination to perform your tasks. So what happens to you then? Do you not look ridiculous? Those days can easily be labeled the days of the Right supremacy. The actions of ex-gay ministries such as RLM blatantly stigmatize the homosexual and transgender community into submission to heterosexual supremacy. It is a gently imposed threshold upon LGBTs. Curiously, the reverse process for those living an immoral heterosexual lifestyle never happens, neither calls of celibacy for heterosexual sex addiction can be heard. Is that not favoritism that even some religions especially Christianity would be against?
The premise of their ministry is denying who you are. When you lie to yourself, or let others convince you to do so, you only suffer consequences that can stretch a lifetime. You must know who you are to live a fruitful life. For example, if you are a true homosexual and choose what Edmund Smith calls the ex-gay lifestyle, two proven things would happen to you. While other homosexual couples move into adulthood having monogamous relationships and planning to migrate overseas to a more tolerant country to get a civil union or marriage and going to live happily ever after until old age takes shape; you either:
a) Will still naturally be attracted to the same sex while being married to your temporal co-star Ms Wife in your heterosexual acting career. You will suppress all desires towards the same sex for years. But, if you ever show interest towards your own sex, then you would hurt those people around you especially Ms. Wife, and children if you have any. Then you would have two choices; be who you are, or choose option b).
b) Be celibate. And spend a lifetime with independence to do whatever you want. The bulk stops there. Because that is all you would have for the rest of your lonely miserable life.
Any mantra that states homosexuality, a normal human born condition; as non-existent, as nothing but a sexual confusion that needs to be controlled, is a falsehood that goes against the very essense of being human. There may be some who choose this ex-gay path (good for them, all power to them). But to go around marketing it as if everyone in the world would eventually want that “change”, or attempt to brainwash weak and impressionable minds from the big fact that homosexuals can live in love, peace and joy just as any living person of any sexual orientation on this earth, is very wrong.
Presenting the “cure” that never was is a direct selling strategy that even God would not be pleased with, and I believe RLM’s Edmund Smith knows that all too well. Do you understand the obvious fact that his ex-gay image is used as a platform to sell his CDs? Do you get it when he is so desperate to become an international “superstar”? Do you realize that Edmund Smith charges people in the guise of “donations” to listen to his reification fallacies and self-created “sciences” based on nothing? Do you know that Edmund Smith recently changed to a new car, even though he mentioned RLM is a non-profit organization? It should be obvious to everyone; under whose expense?
The author of this article is often prayed for (for already a few months actually) with a lovingly made accusation masked as a prayer.
Please pray for Vivienne @ Yuki who was once helped by RLM. He is a transgender (male wanting to be female). He is aggressively moving from one website to another (internationally) trying to ruin the name of Ps Edmund and Real Love Ministry. Pray for Jesus to touch him.
As a girl, medically and scientifically reasoned, I take it as compliment. People can never be comfortable when the truth stares back at them. I have written a response here. By the way, I did not receive any help from RLM except attempts to indoctrinate and coerce me to change into something I am not. From that experience, I realize how important affirmation and integrity is for the community. That is why my fight now is for the life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness for all lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgenders.
July 25th, 2008 at 7:01 pm
Nice writing style. Looking forward to reading more from you.
Chris Moran
July 25th, 2008 at 9:28 pm
thanks for the interesting article. I think this post on my blog will help other understand that the ex-gay ministries in many parts of the western world are dying or have morphed into dealing only with sexual abuse or sexual addictions.
http://alifeofunlearning.blogspot.com/2007/08/five-of-australias-ex-gay-leaders.html
some like Courage in the UK have turned completly around from being anti-gay to gay affirming. Hope that in Malaysia people learn quicker and dont repeat our mistakes.
July 26th, 2008 at 12:03 am
I just have a big problem with religion, not only in matters of a person’s sexuality but so many other areas such as politics, science etc…. It’s horrible.
November 20th, 2008 at 1:50 pm
Dear Reader,
I was there to witness RLM giving Yuki the help they gave her. Ps Edmund Smith supported Yuki financially, emotionally and even help her get a job. Ps Edmund pleaded with his own brother Mr Gerard Smith (0123208513) to give Yuki a job – even when Mr Gerard initially freaked out when Ps Edmund told him that Yuki was a transexual.
By the way – I have been a volunteer in RLM for many years now – since 1999. Never once RLM force anyone to go straight. RLM is simply a ministry that helps anyone who needs support in moving on in their own ex-gay journey. And the people that comes to RLM for this support – are people who chooses to be ex-gays.
Thanks for reading,
Edison
November 20th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
That is so low, Edison. Did you ask Gerard’s permission to publish his number in discussions on LGBT issues? Do you wish to hear what Gerard told me about the circumstances leading to the employment? Edmund gave me the job to publicise to the whole world he is “helping me”. He also did that to shut me up. Gerard himself vowed to not get involved within our views.
RLM not force anyone to go straight? Can you substantiate that? Because I can substantiate with piles of self-advertising that he is. He is making parents force their children and church leaders asking their LGBT members to go. Oh yes, I have testimonies and evidences. Can you provide any?
One more thing, I have been curious to compile a file on RLM’s ex-gays. Do you mind if I research on it? I just need this figure. 1) How many attended RLM with the purpose of changing? 2) How many really changed (not celibate, or having complicated heterosexual relationships? 3) How many of these are really gays and not bisexuals or confused heterosexuals? Thanks.
November 20th, 2008 at 6:25 pm
Oh yes. One more thing Edison (if that is your real name), please look at Our Father, and think carefully of someone’s financial contribution to RLM.
Also, I think it is not exactly “emotional support” when you are called a sin for who you are and being simply dismiss transgenders as foolish, rite?
November 25th, 2008 at 7:09 pm
I never met anyone as ungrateful as you. That is my conclusion. Sorry to say. And this will be the last time I will even read this page of yours. So dear sis – don’t bother to respond to me here.
Your brother in Christ,
Edison
November 25th, 2008 at 10:31 pm
Dear “Edison Chong” aka Edmund and Amuamanda Smith,
If you wish to continuously pretend you had done something in my life and act like you had been a hero of some sort, the first thing to do is to be cautious with what you say, especially to a person who still loves what you are doing in other aspects of your ministry, like for the deaf. But I can see I made another wrong sentimental choice in buying a ticket for your RLM annual dinner which I did not attend (can I have a refund?).
If you wish to sway people’s opinion about me, you have to stop lying. That means you should stop spamming sites using a dozen different identities using the same computer (did you not learn from two years back at Trevvy, formerly SGBoyz when they banned you for spamming?) just to impress people as if there you have tons of ex-gays under your ministry. Mind you, I have spies in your very church in Melaka. I know you only have a few celibate so called “successes” like Jerry See Toh; that goes back to more lying you had done for ages now since you started. I went to your ministry thinking you would help me get rid of the things that was brainwashed into me for boyhood like alcohol and cigarettes, unfortunately you had every intention of getting rid of my “gender confused” female self.
Ungrateful? You can stop your lies now. Every word you say in this age is now scrutinized by intelligent people who question what is going on. You forgot that whenever you leave a remark, it is recorded in the internet as cache, and some archived it in their site. Which means the foolish things you say even back at Trevvy can still be read here. Even the video of just how much you “love” those poor poor gays and lesbians who you claim their goal in life is “just sexuality not Jesus”. This is becoming an embarrassment for you, do you not think so? Brother in Christ is a wicked label. You are definitely not a Christian. A believer in Christ bear good fruits. Yours are of deception, coercing, indoctrination, brainwashing, lying, misrepresention, miseducation… All affects the LGBT community….
At least you finally calling me by the right pronoun now. It is too bad. Thousands have saw how you disrespectfully call me “instrument of the devil” and using disrespectful pronouns when addressing me. So calling me sis now like you know me so well; it is so too late for you. You should have the decency to stop parroting rubbish about gays, lesbians and transgenders when I told you to. My reputation is by my word and truth. I am so sorry for you. You scarred your ownface. So go and get a life now.
November 25th, 2008 at 10:36 pm
Oh one more thing. Thank you for praying for me so often. Christ is guiding me to come of age, strength to strength. Could not have done it without your prayers. Looks like even Our Saviour know what is going on.
November 27th, 2008 at 3:55 pm
I guess Edison is yet to find out the meaning of Christ, the one he uses multiple times, may I suggest living like Christ before using His name to justify injustice.
January 27th, 2009 at 1:35 pm
gender issues are complicated and when hurt and confusion are in place, we subject ourselves to gender bashing even when people do things out of love. Just focus on the love of God for the perfect love is only through God. No one is an idol and no one should be an idol, even we ourselves. Move the focus to God not merely our views … which are often prone to self justifications.
January 27th, 2009 at 2:36 pm
I agree with you, A Citizen of the World. Many times these ex-gay minitries concentrate too much on their own views and failed to just let God move into each individual’s lives. And the way that followers cling on to every word that ex-gay ministers say without any scrutiny? That is plain idolatry. The use of the Bible to justify one’s sense of self righteousness as you implied, are so vivid within the “Real Love Ministry”.
February 4th, 2009 at 1:46 am
Edison Chong, i not going to talk much, but watch this with an open heart
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDiYeJ_bsQo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PooEhBxh0NY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EtWZb50p0Tg